Breakup Woes (Slightly Suicidal)

We met online, met up in real life, fell in love got together and he broke up with me, stating he felt that his feelings are not there anymore. That breakup came to me as a shock, since it was about just 2 weeks after we celebrated my birthday, and it wasn't a mutual breakup I was given no choice at all. He didn't even wanted to give it another shot. 3 days after the breakup, I sent him a long message asking for another chance, he called me and explained to me his feelings started to fade for about 2 to 3 months, and he didnt want to do this anymore. Which made me upset since I had no idea he was feeling that way, but we decided to be friends (stupid of me, I know).

We went back to the same routine, me waiting for him to come home so we can talk, and calling to sleep (yes another stupid thing, dont judge me). He cares for me as though we were still together, I know we broke up, but deep down I was okay with that kind of relationship/friendship (w/e you call it).

Until recently, he told me he has been talking to someone new, I tried to accept it as a friend so I told him to talk about it. That was when I realised I still harbour feelings for him, I do not just treat him as a friend. When he started to mention her, being so excited I felt that my heart was ripped, I dont know what to do. Friends Ive told my story to, told me Ive warned you before, You will get over it, without being actually there for me. Im an introvert, I have hardly any friends, I want to meet new people but I dont know how.

Ive been trying so hard to get over him, deleting his number, blocking him, I messaged him on impulse once after accidentally I found his number on my phone(I have already deleted it). I tried to distract myself (watching anime/other shows), I tried to go out alone or with friends, and tried to do things alone, but Ill just cry. Everyone says time will heal, but I do not see much of a progress and Im feeling suicidal. I know this relationship is a toxic one, he was younger than me, and this was also his first relationship. He restricted me of who I am and telling me what I can do and what I shall not do, he was always insecure despite multiple reminders of me telling him I only have eyes for him.

I would not want him back, because I know if I do, Ill be hurting myself again and that would mean Im doing harm to myself. I want to get over him, but everything reminds me of him, even my room. I need help, because I dont want to feel like this anymore with someone who doesnt care about me, who just leads me on and played with my heart. Ive never experienced such a painful heartbreak and I am really lost, I want to move on but I don't know how