Can't Find Help

Hi,

I've been depressed for about 15 years now and I don't know what to do. I've tried everything and it either makes it worse or it doesn't help at all. I really need someone to talk to but I've had a lot of bad experiences with therapists so I don't want to go back to one. My last therapist was godawful and only made my problems worse. I don't want to go on medication because I've had a lot of bad side effects from them.

I don't have any friends, so I have no one to talk to. I've tried a lot of things that people recommended but they either made things worse or didn't help at all. There is literally no way out of my situation except to kill myself, so I'm seriously thinking about it but I can't do it right now unfortunately.

I've been struggling with the same problems for about 17 years now and I can't take it anymore. I've done all the 'right' things and it's gotten me nowhere. I'm also very tired of people treating me like a POS. Literally everybody I meet hates me as soon as they lay eyes on me. I'm always super nice to people but they take advantage of me or put me down every time. Then when I call them out about it, I'm labelled a bitch and treated by them and all of their friends like I have bubonic plague. So it's damned if I do and damned if I don't.

I usually end up getting trolled on every message board I join, but this one seems okay, so I'd thought I'd take a chance. Maybe there's someone out there who will listen to me.