Conflicts in family, really done with all this..

Hello, I am sorry if this offends you or triggers you.

This is happening for ever.. Conflicts between my parents.. Saying curse words, quarling, fighting that much that I am scared some one of them will hit each other or juts d*e 😟

I hate all this.. I self harm..i know it's bad but I am really done with all this.. I have kind of lost the will to live anymore...i am not in crisis.. Please don't report me or send me crisis. I am trying to seek help. I only have 7cups for me to talk.. I don't want it go away from me. I am a teenager I don't have money or a source of income to afford consultation or move out now.. I hate this world.. I am really done with all this. Everything is bad and ***. I hate my life.. Why the *** was I even born?!

Tommorow is my birthday.. Everything thing is upside down. It always is, haha it's nothing new. It's always bad and I overwelmhed. Lol it's just everything is is okay.. But it's **** not!! It's not!!!! 😭

I am numb, bot feeling much emotions at all, always sad. And I pretending to be happy too hahaha.. Ha..sorry I am going crazy, and one day I will lose my mind and just ***. I am sorry very very much that you had to come across this.. And I am very sorry for cursing 😞

I want to say more.. But I can't. Feelings can't be always wrote down and I can't say..*sigh* I can't express myself.. If you want to delete this post and ban me from the website..it would be very bad for me as I have no one to talk to and understand me. People here listen and understand me.. I don't what to do anymore 😢

I am sorry.. This was a vent. I just wanted to rant.. And let out my feelings..

You can post here if you want. It's long I know..you can read this if you want 💙

Thank you and I hope you have a nice day or night.