Daily?

Uh so.i have never been like this.im not trying to seek attention or anything.im not the kind of a person who would be opening up.but.im sorry i cant take it anymore at this stage. I reached to the stage that my eyes would start pouring teats when im not even on the nerve of crying.i..dont feel okay?? I dont know what ? But i feel so low? Empty? Hurt?? And i hate it from the bottom of my heart. I feel toxicated. My friend are in the same class with me but i feel lkle what if i was alone ? But would have been better? Everything is going wrong. And i am sorry that im like this but i never have been like this. I never been that genuinely sad. I never had suicidal thoughts in literally the darkestttt problems and the worst.i never though about committing, but look at me now i feel like i only need someone to encourage me to do it and i wont think about it fpr 2 seca literally. I know this seems annoying but i stopped worrying about myself long long time ago. But yeah im fine work everytime 🤷🏻‍♀️