Depression got in the way of my life

Hey guys/gals. So this is my first post, I'm not sure if this will help me, but I want to give it a shot.

So 8 years ago, I moved from one city to another. I was fine, I loved moving, I loved traveling. This happened around summer break, when my 5thgrade year just ended; I was moving on to 6th. I told myself I'd try hard for my parents and myself, however, due to that, I didn't have any friends. I remember walking, looking for my brother because I had no one else. My brother is "different" from everyone else because he couldn't speak normally or hear normally so he was always bullied for that. It was his 8th grade year, so he missed any day he could. My mom decided to get us a bus pass, instead of getting on the bus every morning, I went straight to the closet and slept there until 3:40PM (time I usually get home) then I would run out the gate and pretended like I walked home. 7th grade came, I made plenty of "friends"; friends that hung out with me because I had money (I was working at the age of ten at my family's restaurant.) they bullied me every day, they hit me until I was bruised, they insulted me, made me cry. This happened for two years, my 7th& 8th grade year. When middle school was over, I was so happy. That was probably the first time I've ever been happy since I moved.

High school came, I wanted to give happiness another shot. I never made friends though, the friends I made, I hung out with for two years. I was made fun of for hanging out with them because I didn't "fit" their category. Might I say I was never the girl that judged people, or label them, or categorize anyone. So another horrible two years past, then my junior year of high school, I met the most amazing friends and amizing people I had generous and helpful teachers. It was amazing because I had someone to sit with, and make me laugh but I never had anyone to talk to. Day by day, I started getting up late for school, I stopped trying, then eventually I stopped showing for school. I just felt like there's no place I'd rather be than in my bed, under my blanket because that's where I feel the happiest. My senior year, I didn't bother having friends, I do believe I was more at home than I was at school. I did leave in the middle of school to go to the park, or anywhere away from school. I became someone I told myself to never become, I've lost all hope and motivation for myself. My first semester at college, I dropped half way because I was forced to go. Same with tsecond semester and third semester, I got through probation over 7 over again now I'm dismissed from that college for a semester.

Depression has got in the way of my life, my education. I was once the brightest person, I loved making people smile, I loved being myself, I loved everyone, I loved the thought of being in school, trying for my future. Now, I'm the total opposite of all that, I hate everything and everyone beside my family. I no longer love myself. My life has became so dark that I've lost hope for myself.