Do people actually like me?
Hi there! I hope I'm posting in the right place.
There's something I've kind of been wondering about a lot, and that's if people actually like me, or if they tolerate me, or if secretly they like it when I'm gone. Have other people dealt with this? How do you cope with it? I wish I could just ask but given that a lot of my friends are online friends, I don't know if they're telling the truth or lying to spare my feelings, plus I feel like that would be kind of like...selfish in a way? Like I wouldn't just suddenly spring "Do you guys actually like me or would you be happier if I left?" on someone, that would just make everyone uncomfortable.
I just can't help but feel like everyone would secretly prefer it if I wasn't there. They all seem so comfortable and friendly with each other, and I kind of feel like the odd one out, I guess. Like I'm not particularly close to anyone. It kind of feels like it wouldn't matter if I was here or not. I want to try and push myself to keep talking and being friendly, but I just don't want to annoy anyone.
Any advice would be appreciated! Thank you so much!
@RedMouse Unfortunately, we can't really control how other people feel or think about us. And it's never possible to know what people really think about us, since we can't read minds. People will say any number of things about other people.
It's generally not helpful to approach relationships completely based on whether people like you. Do you like them? Do you enjoy their company? If no, it doesn't mean that they are bad people or that you aren't good enough; they just might not be the kind of people you enjoy being around right now.
If yes, my advice is to focus on how to be a good friend. What can you offer? Do you listen to a friend's problems without interrupting? Do you support their interests and goals? Do you do favors when you're able? I don't mean you should endlessly give if it's a one-sided relationship, but truly the best way to have a friend is to be a friend.
@RedMouse you are worthy. If you consider people to be your friends and you enjoy spending time with them (online or otherwise) they are your friends. You are worthy of being someone's friend and having friends. 