Emotional issues
Hey guys, i have absolutely no ideas where should I write that so I'll try here.
I never knew how to express my feelings, I've always been lonely and detached. The more I grow up, the more I realize that I feeling less emotions that others. For example, I'm aromantic, it means I never experience romantic attraction. I had romantic relationships before but I always broke up because my partners were much more involved than me (emotionally). I can feel a strong bond with someone but I never miss them, I would be sad if they leave me but I would recover very fast. I can't say that I love my family because that's not true, they're nice and I'm grateful for what they've done for me but I really don't think I love them. Even though I have a great empathy, I'm very contemptuous towards people because I find them stupid and it is difficult for me to talk to the vast majority of them. The most powerful emotions I feel are anxiety and emptiness. People often say that I show no emotions or that I'm apathetic, and I agree with them, most of the time I feel little or no emotion. I don't know why and this is very crippling in my relationships because I'm absolutely unable to lie so people feel bad or offended because they feel like I don't care about them ( most of the time that's true but not always), I don't know what to do, for now the best solution I came up to is learn how to lie :/
It's understandable, but consider that you are self-aware, and that shows a higher level of sensitivity than most people have. Everyone is unique was a varying degree to attachment and empathy, and chemicals such as level of oxytocin can play large factors in this.
I also have issues with people not being truthful and perpetually behaving in a way that would be generally characterized as stupid. Rather than lie, it might be more helpful to be more discrete and not saying anything. Ultimately, people need to accept you for who you are. I had a friend who told me that I didn't have as much hair as someone else, and it was less manly. I thought such an expression was rude, but I'm still friends with her because that's who she is. She also said something about me being fat. I didn't think I was fat or had a hair problem until she told me. There are benefits to being candid, but one has to be discrete in some situations, otherwise, they might find themselves unemployed. My friend eventually got fired because of her extreme level of candor wasn't acceptable by the management team.