Family ignores me, so lonely...

I really just need to vent and put this out into the void.

Sundays are my favorite days and its what keeps me going all week. theyre why I press through the hard stuff and I wake up on beautiful Sunday mornings feeling hopeful, renewed, happy and sweet and it just turns out to be a cosmic cycle of disappointment because nothing ever happens no matter how many things I suggest or ideas I share.

I want to be close with my family because it means a lot to me and I guess I'm a sentimental person. This doesn't include my father, though. Hes's been nothing but mean, patronizing, bitter and rotten to me (and almost everyone else) for years, he's just an angry person full of hate and I try to distance myself from his negative energy as much as possible.

Right now, hes still around instead of being at work and it feels like I dont even exist. He takes attention away from me constantly, my friends arent talking to me online, my mom who I never get to see except for Sundays because we both work is sleeping in bed all day and ignoring me and it feels like Im alone or like i dont even have parents. Its ALWAYS like this and it's really sad.

Honestly, I'm an introvert and I don't feel the need to party all the time or go out to clubs or have wild experiences with anyone and everyone. I live in a very small and not well known town, we don't have events or even art shows or craft fairs or things that happen and I find it hard to really connect with people my own age because I've felt like people have wanted to be my friend for the wrong reasons (so I'll pay their way for everything, etc.) and my kindness is taken advantage of. I've never had good luck with that. I want to have at least social interaction and I cant because my fathers a perpetual (insert colorful word here) and my mom is just… in her own little world,always sleeping, disconnected??? Im so lonely it hurts and its like Im insatiable for human contact and its driving me crazy but I hate being in this house because its darker and colder inside like a cave and theres no light or windows I'm sick of hiding under the blankets to be comfortable and getting too warm too fast constantly. There arent any tables or comfortable furniture to settle in, its just an awkwardly structured house and Im getting depressed.

Today, my mom said she was going to rent a movie but she just decided not to at the last minute and shes buried under sweaty blankets while it's 81 degrees and ignoring me completely. Shes almost always like this, shes very dismissive of me and acts like Im not even here, Shes just kinda mentally-emotionally checked out on me. When I come into her bedroom to look at things on my laptop and attempt to interact, shes unresponsive and goes to sleep. I'm not sure if shes mentally ill or just doesnt care about me anymore, but Im deeply lonely and upset that I cant have a loving family. I want to be a free spirit if I can't have that, but Im trapped here waiting for the days to pass, waiting out my time and waiting for the day to be over with day to day.

Please don't tell me to "get my ____ together" or "lol then get out", that doesn't help my situation and due to financial circumstances that's not an option. That's just the way it goes. I'm a little bit dependent for food and shelter but I do have a job and pay my own bills so I'm truly not lazy, I'm not looking for vitriolic quick fixes. I just wonder if anyone else has experienced this.

It's just a really sad life to live.