Family issues

Okay so I want to express some of my feelings here which I have been suppressing from a lomg time

Sometimes, I dont even know the emotions that I experience

My parents are going through some serious issues from last one year.... tbh they have been fighting with each other since they got married and that is 21 years of marriage

In the initial years I stopped them from getting a divorce because I thought that I would be unable to handle it but as the time flew, I began to understand that maybe the divorce option was one of the best way they could have optedto end the suffering of themselves and their children

However, I think that even today there is a slight hope in me that they would get along but I know that the divorce option is now looming over our head and one step must be taken to end this suffering and pain

I think that with divorce they both would eventually live peacefully but I don't know if I am ready even though I pretend to be ready in front of them

I don't know how to deal with this situation...it's just swallowing me from inside