Feeling directionless and alone.

Even figuring out the appropriate title for this thread was something of an overwhelming process for me. There's so much been going on in my life and in my head that it seems almost impossible to condense all the most important aspects of my story into one post.

I guess I'll try to get down to the heart of things. I'm a 20-year-old female college student with a physical disability. I've struggled with depression and anxiety for most of my life and I've been hospitalized twice within the past 10 months.

I don't really know where I'm going in life. After commuting for my first year of college, I decided to live on campus for my second and I ended up in a very isolated setting where I had a difficult roommate and didn't make very many new friends. I'm not certain whether I'm satisfied with my major, but I don't feel as though I have very many valuable skills to fall back on or to justify trying to make a change. In all sincerity, no particular career path appeals to me and I have very little belief in my ability to accomplish anything noteworthy.

I also recently went through a breakup of sorts and I've been feeling especially lonely, undervalued and inadequate, even in regards to my platonic relationships. I feel as though life is just passing me by. I feel small and unimportant and confused and most days I can't imagine what my purpose on this earth is.

Often I find myself having a harder time understanding the people who love me over those who have rejected me and/or left. I'm not even sure why I felt compelled to write this. Maybe just to know that I'm not alone in feeling lonely and hopeless and unlovable and unproductive. I want to know if it's ever gotten better for those who have felt this way.