Feelings of worthlessness
I am a 21 year old male graduating college in December. I have struggled with depression for as long as I can remember, and have been on numerous antidepressants and through plenty of therapists.
Lately my feelings of worthlessness and helplessness have gotten out of hand. Most of my self esteem issues seem to revolve around my lack of motivation. I find it hard to do much of anything, and loved ones have been ashamed of me for not being employed, doing extracurriculars at school, or just wasting my life in general.
I have applied for jobs but have had trouble finding one. I am also nervous to work again because it seems like such a scary experience to work at a new place.
As far as school, I have tried some extracurriculars in the past, but I am not comfortable at all around new people and therefore tend to close myself off to many opportunities in general.
Friends and family are generally kind, but have said many hurtful things to me. I try to believe that they say this because they are just stressed or in a bad mood, but I believe most of the things that they say.
I was wondering if anyone else has been having these problems or if anyone has any advice.
@cw1995
I think that almost all people have similar feelings about their parents and their self-perception. The only thing that varies is how strong you feel about it. You are not alone and what helps me is to see that everything is connected. We are not just our thoughts and our mind. We create this negative thinking and out of it the reality around us. We tend to dwell on all kinds of thoughts over and over again but at the end you have to ask yourself: How is it seving you? Does thinking about something over and over again make it any different. I have had problems as well with self esteem, what others think of me, no job and whatever. Here is what I did: I started a website and write about the stuff that I am interested in and make money with it as well. This is nothing you can get rich with immediately. You have to put hard work in it, but the rewards will come later. And it is much easier to do than many people thing.
This helps me to get along prety well and gives me independence and the possibility to create something new, instead of reworking and rethinking what was in the past over and over again. What happened is done. You won't change it no matter how much you think about it. The only thing you can do is to get into action in the present moment. Now is the time to do something, and why not try something new?
If you are interested in the website and how you can build your own for free, please write me. I would really like to share with you. This helpes me to cheer up a lot since I lost my job this year. I just started out to work for one year with all kinds of hopes. But then my one-year contract simply expired without being renwed. It was a shock. But after thinking about it I decided to take a new direction in life. One that keeps me independent and that helpes me to change my life the way I want.
Hope that helps and hope to stay in touch
All the best
@Alistor
Thats a wonderful idea. I think the reason I've been so turned off from a job is because it'd have to be a part time, menial job that wouldn't really keep me mentally stimulated.
I do love music however, and play 6 instruments. Although it's been hard to find the motivation to play very much lately, maybe your idea would be good for me and give me a project to work on, maybe eventually make a little money.
Thank you, I really do appreciate your input.