Fell back into depression

Sometimes I wonder if recovery is even real...if any of the stories of people getting better are true. Maybe they’re lies, maybe the people haven’t reached the relapse yet, maybe it’s real and I’m too broken to get better. ...did I have therapy today? I missed my last appointment by accident and there was so much going on, broken phones being part of it, I was unreachable. I didn’t realize he cancelled all the other appointments until I had to cancel the next one. The nurse rescheduled but the information didn’t save...reality shifted and I can’t remember when it was suppose to be. My head is filled with static and the dark voices mummer in the background. I don’t want to go back to therapy or continue taking the meds. I’m just so tired, too broken. The cycle never ends and I end up venting to strangers just to get ease the pressure in my head. It never truly ends does it?