Hard day
it hit really hard today. I couldnt get out of bed until three pm, I wasnt sleeping just thinking, and now I cant fall asleep. Just when things start to maaaybe get a tiny bit better another bad thought jumps in and right back to the dumps I go. Ive thought about everything how homesick I am and how much I hate where Im living even though I love my husband all the way to my uncles recent suicide and re-living the aftermath of that. I feel like a terrible wife, a terrible pet owner, my house is a wreck and I was going to clean it today. Everything hurts, body and spirit. Thank god I didnt have to work today or tomorrow.
@MamaCato923
Hello, you sound like so down like life has beat the shit out of you and I am so sorry. I have been in that situation before. It was like a cloud of smoke that smothered me and binded me, it was like an avalanche of problems, hitting me and burying me in despair. I know a lot of things are happening and they might have pulled you down a little. But don't let life beat you down, see it as obstacles that come and go and try your best to rise from the ashes.
Sorry to hear of your trouble, I can relate, today has been hard. Hugs
@MamaCato923
I'm so sorry for what you're going through. But you know depression is a demon right? a tiny ugly demon whispering to us. Deep down you know all of thouse thoughts are that demon speaking, it isn't the reality.
Just because your depression is hunting you does not mean you're bad in any of those areas. The fact you're talking here and venting that alone is so brave and reveals so much strenght.
Some days are very hard and other days are easier. Just hang in there and don't let that demon control you. Might not seem like it but you have some control in the situation.
I wish you all the best and hope you feel a bit better soon 
Depression is nothing fun, trust me I know I have it as well and I have anxiety on top of it. It might help you to talk to your doctor or a therapist. Unfortunately depression is a chemical inbalance of the brain. Sometimes talking helps, sometimes we need meds and sometimes we need a combination of both or more. If you are having thoughts maybe talking to your husband might help, I'm sure he would understand because he loves you. Life gets is down but we have to get back up and fight back. - hoping you feel better
