Has anybody experienced counselling..what's it like?
I think I'm at a stage in my life now where I possibly need to talk to a professional. I suffer with anxiety but often this can cause occasions where I'm really down and depressed, like today for example and why I'm writing this now. A lot of things are getting my down at the moment and one of my friends has been telling me for a while to seek help, and he had his first session a few weeks ago and when talking on the phone, he explained to me how I'm really similar to him from what they've said to him.
But basically my story begins Summer last year. I was getting frequent stomach problems and the doctor ran tests on me for a few weeks and nothing was found and therefore he diagnosed me with anxiety and gave me tablets to calm me down. They helped a lot and I was on and off them for a good few months. January/February this year I decided to wean myself off them and I was able to cope for a while without them, even through worrying and anxious situations so I felt like I had accomplished something.
But I started to feel like something was missing from my life and that was a little bit of company such as a girlfriend. Now there was a girl who liked me more than friends apparently but I didn't like her like that, I liked somebody else but at the same time even she hurt me. But I met a new girl around June time who I got close to, and we made things official. Yet I've been insecure from the beginning. What does a beautiful girl like her see in a guy like me?
I've come to realise over the past few months that I lot of my feelings is due to being bullied a lot in the past for being fat really, as well as being messed around and hurt by girls. I've lost a lot of weight over the years and would consider myself a suitable height and weight now but I guess the past still sticks. My friends always say "Be happy now and forget about the past." But it's easier said than done. I'd love to just focus on the present and be happy, maybe even start focusing and planning on a future. But I don't know how to be happy.
Now she knows about my insecurities and has stuck by me so far but one day I just fear it'll get too much for her and I'll push her away too far, and that she'll find some other guy who is confident and stronger than me. Although I can't imagine that anyone else out there would ever love her as much as I do, but I don't know if she would realise that if the time happened. But right at this moment in time I'm not happy because I am insecure but at the same time I wouldn't be happy without her in my life either.
So that's my story. Although I think I am going to take my friend's advice and maybe seek some help because I think it could be my only option now. Me and the friend who I mentioned at the beginning are spending a few days in Ireland in just over a week, so it'll be a good opportunity to talk to him more about it in person instead of over the phone. And then the weekend after I'm away for the weekend with my girlfriend and her family so when we get some time to ourselves I might just talk to her about it as well.
But my main point of sharing this is to get it off my chest a little, but at the same time I'm wondering if anybody else has had experience with counselling and what it's like? Does it help? How does it work? And just generally if you have any stories to share?
@Jlawson. I'm so glad you've found 7cups. This is a GREAT place to get things off your chest, hear other people's stories to realize you're not alone, and connect with like minded people. Anxiety is nothing is have to deal with on your own, I know as I have it as well as depression. When you stated you were on meds and weaned yourself off I was sad. Those meds can help so let them help! Now, as for therapy… I've been in therapy a lot. Sometimes because I was in a horrible place in my life and sometimes because I knew I needed help for some reason. I recently had an injury and the doctor actually hooked me up with an amazing therapist to help me deal with the anxiety and depression. I am THANKFUL for this therapist. She is helping me in so many ways. I hope you are able to talk to your friend on your trip, and I hope you can find the strength to seek help… it does help!😊. Feel free to write me with questions!!
I weaned off the medication because as much as they made my anxiety feel slightly better, they also just drained the hell out of me. They were a low dosage of beta-blockers to slow my heart down and stop too much adrenaline pumping around. And come January/February I generally was feeling a lot better and wanted to start living my life without the medication again.
And I was fine for months after this. I even went through a really anxious situation between March and May and my anxiety didn't make me ill either so I kind of felt like I was 'cured' however I guess I wasn't. I had an exam that determined my future approaching early June, as well as being messed around by some girl I liked that was getting me down, so I started taking the tablets again, but this time they did absolutely nothing for me anymore apart from one afternoon I felt chilled out, but most of the other time I was anxious again. Followed by when I got into my relationship mid-June, I haven't slept since then. I'm not on the medication again now but I don't see the point as I feel like they won't do anything for me anymore. I think therapy may be the only way forward now, because I think my anxiety could link back to a lot of things from my past that I don't even know what at the moment..
I'm glad you found somebody to help you though! Hopefully you're on a good track now with your life. Thanks for taking the time out to respond to me!
I went through counseling after finding out my anxiety was forcing me into anorexia. I had problems with my stomach too, where I would get nauseous by even looking at food ESPECIALLY in a public setting like a restaurant or cafeteria. I've been going to therapy for a few months now and it's really helped me understand why I act the way I do and helped me back away from those bad habits. However, my only advice is to not look for a quick fix in counseling. It's going to take a while and you're going to have to be willing to step out of your comfort zone just a tiny bit more each visit.
Would you mind maybe telling me what did cause you to feel the need to go off food? You don't have to if you don't want to but in all honesty, something I thought of a few hours ago, is that I have a feeling my stomach problems were related to a possible anorexia. And I think this is because girls didn't take an interest in me and I found myself fat and ugly. I didn't realise this at the time but this afternoon I saw a girl on my Facebook who I was trying to flirt with one evening and she just tried taking advantage of me buying her drinks I think. And I ended up going home with an upset stomach. I didn't know it at the time, but that was the start of my many stomach problems, and I look back now and think it's because I wanted to be slimmer.
I really went off my food last year for a good four months and ended up losing three stone in weight. I do eat mostly normally now and I do look better for losing the weight, but something tells me I did have an eating disorder
For me, I stopped eating because I thought that would make me feel more in control. It's kind of hard to explain, but I really linked nausea to my anxiety and thought I would be calmer if there was nothing in my stomach TO feel queasy about. It made me feel in control and gave me something to focus on. But it went to far when I would go several days without eating leading up to some event I thought I may get nervous for. I would make sure I ate next to nothing before even visiting a friend. It gave me the illusion I actually had something in control. I still struggle with eating right even with the therapy I go to regularly. But, now I understand what I was really doing and I can say that I'm honestly doing much better and I'm on my way to eating normally. It was scary when I first realized what I was doing because I was bullied a lot as a child and preteen and as someone with a naturally fast metabolism, I was always called "anorexic," and that was before I even started weaning down on my meals. That might have contributed to my choices subconsciously but I can honestly say my main reason was because it gave me something to control. I knew it was wrong, but I didn't know how bad it was. In your situation, I'd suggest you do what I did and get a second opinion from a professional who can give you safe advice or instruction or at least an educated opinion. I wish you the best of luck!
You really do sound very similar to me actually! Basically September 2013 I got this sickness bug. it knocked me out for around a week but after that I was fine. but it was the first time I'd had such a bug since I was quite young. But around a month later I'd been out drinking with a friend and I came home and as I went to bed I just was on the toilet numerous times and I felt really sick. I wasn't sick but I was up all night. But then this started happening frequently. Just once or twice a month where I'd be up all night with an upset stomach and feeling sick. I couldn't quite understand why and what was wrong with me.
Then it got to May last year and instead of being once or twice a month, it started happening three times in a week. So whenever I kind of felt sick, it would run into the next day and I wouldn't want to eat at all. I'd only ever really feel better in the evening time the next day. Anyway I didn't know it was anxiety at the time, and I visited the doctor and he ran blood tests on me and after a few weeks, they came back clear and he assumed it was anxiety and gave me the tablets for it. They did calm me down quite a bit but tired me out so much so I stopped taking them. But I was ill most of last summer. Not wanting to eat and being up most nights. I didn't even enjoy my 18th Birthday late July because I was just ill. So I went back on the tablets then. I ended up losing three stone by not eating properly though. But I started to realise that I think going to bed on a full stomach was making me feel full and bloated, like the feeling I got when I was ill with that bug. I was clearly anxious about something and wasn't quite sure what. But then it was around September/October time it hit me.
My friend was off ill for a few days with some sickness bug, but came into college one day and he looked rough. But I didn't want him near me in case he gave the bug to me. And then it hit me. I've always been emetophobic. The fear of vomit so I was scared of being sick again. So when I was going to bed feeling bloated, I was worried I was going to be sick, so I started feeling sick with the anxiety but the more I felt sick, the more I thought I was going to be sick and it was this circle all night long. So after learning this it kind of made me feel a little bit better. But at the same time it was approaching winter where everyone catches this bug. So anytime I'd been near anybody with it or who said they'd had food poisoning or something, I was worried to a point I was making myself ill. Towards the beginning of November I got myself into a state when worrying I was going to be ill. Wherever I was or went, I just started washing my hands all of the time, and still do now.
Anyway I started to feel better around February time. But honestly, I completely understand where you're coming from with the whole not eating thing because I stopped eating in fear I was going to be sick, and hoping an empty stomach would prevent that. Although these days if I don't eat I just feel really faint and things so it doesn't really work.
But honestly, my fears are on other things now, not really getting ill. I do think I need help though and I will seek it eventually I suppose :/