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Helping loved ones that help you through your depression

User Profile: secretPapaya1720
secretPapaya1720 August 27th, 2018

How do you help the people that help you? It is so hard dealing with depression, but it is also hard to witness someone you live going through that.

I have been depressed for a long time and my boyfriend of 8 years has been my rock. But now I can see it affecting him in a bad way. He doesn't like to talk to me about it, incase it makes me feel worse.

I try to hide it from him but I don't want him to think I am pushing him away either.

I am so scared it will affect his mental health too.

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User Profile: Lolowise475
Lolowise475 August 27th, 2018

I am seeking more support with my depression because I don't want it controlling me anymore.

2 replies
User Profile: secretPapaya1720
secretPapaya1720 OP August 27th, 2018

@Lolowise475

I know exactly how you feel. It's like depression has taken over and I'm just sitting back and watching it ruin my life.

What have you tried so far to help yourself?

1 reply
User Profile: Lolowise475
Lolowise475 August 27th, 2018

Self help guide to grief. Depression support chat. Journaling. Trying to find a bereavement support group in rl. Also take to acquaintances. Increase antidepressants. Started therapeutic counseling. Exercise, eating well, sleep machine.@secretPapaya1720

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August 28th, 2018

@secretPapaya1720

Hi!

This post is so relatable. I deal with mental health stuff as well as health stuff so I can totally see the impact that it has on my partner. I think for me the biggest thing is being aware of it. Often when we are in the midst of depression it's hard to see how much it affects everyone around us.

Another big key is to talk about it. "Hey, how is my stuff affecting you right now?" I've learned (the hard way) to have conversations like this and how important they can be. Maybe they need a little time alone just as self-care - know that that's totally okay.

The other question that pops up a lot is "what do you need or want right now?" It's amazing how much we can really learn from each other. I often think that if I hide it or don't talk about it will be easier, but he personally feels pushed away - so I've learned that for him to cope we have to kind of 'share the load'. Everyone is a bit different though in how they like to cope and talk about things - that's just what works for us.

and finally - find other support strategies. It can be very very easy to use just one person as your rock, but it's not always healthy. Maybe that's a therapist; journalling, exercise, 7 Cups, friends, whatever - having other strategies in your toolbox.

Hope this helps smiley