How do I not kill myself?

@HomerSimpson55 I think the best thing you can do is try to get professional help if you can and if not then try talking to someone you love then it might keep you from doing it and maybe give you hope ❤️ :)

@HomerSimpson55

The best thing you can do is get professional help, even though it can be expensive, in the long run it will be effective. The only help I can give you is to tell you the truth. I understand what you're going through, I really do. You must remember that there are people that love and care about you, even people you wouldn't really expect. You've made a positive change to everyone's life and to commit suicide will reverse that. I don't know you, nor you me, but I care if you live or die, so I'm going to tell you that you are the centre of your own universe, meaning you're so, so important to the others around you because without you, they won't be able to function. Things will get better. Think of it like a bow and arrow. The arrow has to be pulled back for it to go far. I hope you take my advice and get professional help as I am no expert, and get well soon

@HomerSimpson55

If you have not tried a mental health hospital I would recommend it. I went for a week and it was nice to get away from "life" for a minute and have other people to talk with that's going through the same kinda stuff.

I lost my job due to health, denied disability, loosing my home, and think about ending it all the time. But I doubt some land for no money down and I am going to build my own shack, hydroelectric generator, and try to enjoy the new year.

I am sorry your going through hard times. I hope you consider the hospital idea. You can even go to the emergency room and tell them your suicidal and they will put you in.

Good luck. Hopefully we both will find some happiness, or I'll see ya on the other side:)

I could ramble about how society has failed you, how ridiculous it is that society doesn't offer you some better help at this point, but that's not going to help in the immediate situation. I'm very poor myself, also, so I can't really offer to give you anything myself. Sure, you could suicide but you've asked how to avoid that, so I'm going to offer a little functional advice.

Firstly, consider the possibility to simply mentally ignoring their bullshit, and remain living there for now, but this depends on your disposition and whether you're capable of making a conscious choice to dismiss their bullshit, which is what it is. Your mother brought you into this world, no matter how old she is or how old you are - she has some responsibility to do everything she can to give you at the very least the basics. Both of them sound like shitty people if they're attacking you and telling you to leave, especially considering what you're going through. So listen to me when I say - their opinion as to whether or not you're 'welcome' is worthless, so f** them! If you're capable of finding a way to not let their bullshit, their rejections of you and their attacks get to you - try to do that for now, stay on there and try to heal your mood and recover your position to find a job eventually. Consider the possibility that they might be asshole enough to kick you out or even be violent against you - maybe they are? I don't know the situation If there's a threat of violence, get out - but otherwise sit there and 'steal' that room from them and do not feel ashamed at all, please. You have every right to take enough. Now it might help if you're also able to get out of the house during much of the day, but considering your mood that might be difficult. However, if it IS possible - consider spending time outside the house, even wandering malls, or going to a library (this would be best, comfy and you could read something light and positive, or even a self-help book), or sitting in a park or something, until it's late enough that you can sneak in and avoid them as much as possible and sleep safely with a roof over your head. You need a bit of time to recover and make your way back into employment if you can do so.

Now if the above is impossible and you feel like the attacks are destroying you - the only other thing I can think of is that you need to find somewhere else to stay, if you have a single other person, maybe another relative or a friend, or something like that, who can offer you a bed for now, try that. If you do have another person like that, you could also ask them to help you out a bit - explain your situation, explain how depressed you are and just ask for them to help you get some sort of unemployment benefit if that's possible, or to find you some work, or something like that. There is absolutely nothing wrong with ASKING for help - maybe if someone helps you in a small way, you could end up helping them later on. If someone lets you stay with them, do everything you can to be as unobtrusive as possible, be clean, spend time out of the house as mentioned above, etc. Then later on if you get better, you can someday offer them some help in return, even if it's as simple as giving them some cash.

Suicide won't really 'solve' anything. I don't believe it's wrong to do, but also consider that many many people don't succeed, it's hard to escape the 'flesh prison' without suffering in the process, or making things infinitely worse. There is always some hope. Find a little bit of light and hold onto it if you can. Find the strength to endure their bullshit if you can, just so that later on you can flip them off. Don't be ashamed for being in this state, don't be ashamed for 'needing' or wanting help. You're a human and humans SHOULD help one another. Some dude will have bought a million dollar watch today, or blown $20k on hookers, while you're here suffering. Don't be ashamed about demanding something for yourself. I'd even go so far as to say that if you continue staying with your asshole 'parents', if they have the money or goods, you might 'borrow' small amounts, or sell some of their stuff on ebay over time to build up your financial reserves.

Look into unemployment benefits online. Is anything available to you? Is there any cheap accommodation where you can be relatively safe and afford on such a benefit. Fight for yourself if you can gather the strength, but no shame in giving up.

I'll see you at the end of this all, my son.

@HomerSimpson55 I'm very sorry this has happened to you. Can you reach out to a local hospital for help in dealing with you suicidal thoughts? My gut feeling is that is what you need to deal with first! Trying to deal with all of your problems at once will overwhelm you and make you shut down. I do this myself. There should be local mental health resources that you can reach out to for help. Also, can you file for unemployment? That would help a bit with your finances. I think what you want is an end to the pain, right? There are ways to do that without killing yourself! It may take time and effort, but you can do it! Please try to reach out to help in your area!