Husbands depressed
My husband came to me recently letting me know he thinks he needs to see a therapist and that he’s very depressed and has been for a while now
he says he doesn’t feel happy with anything and things they used to give him joy don’t
he’s been trying very hard to fight it but it’s getting worse.
he works out and takes care of himself and our family every day! Works crazy hours no days off
and we have a baby now
he said this started before our baby was born though
I asked if he still loved him and he said he doesn’t know he doesn’t even love himself..
im not sure what to do! I want to help but he says it feels suffocating
he wants to want to feel normal again and feel that love but is struggling.
im just so lost and feel helpless and miss him!
I don’t wanna push him too hard or away but I want to help.
he says he needs space and time but wants me to act normal too
any advice please
@wittyOrange2028
If he wants to get therapy, support him and be glad for him that he is taking steps. That is good. Then after meetings, ask in a welcoming manner if there is any he wishes to share. This is not your fault, and it's great if you can be supportive of him in any way, trying to do what he asks. If you don't understand or are unsure, asking again would be great, but always in a caring way. And - for you - keep talking to others about it as much as you can, so that you have an outlet while not pressuring him. You both can do this. His reaching out for help is a very good sign.
Thank you for sharing. I'm glad that you are here.
When considering how I feel the best you can do is to just be there for him. Just reassure him that you love him and that you are there for him. It will be good for him to speak to therapist, it is positive sign
I’m the only one that says I love you first or I miss you first lately… and when I say it and ask if he missed me he’ll say yeah with like no emotion almost like I’m annoying. Should I stop saying those things .. or continue to say them even if he doesn’t say them back .. is not saying them back bad?
@wittyOrange2028
That's a very different question from the topic above. It's difficult to be with someone depressed, I get that, and I don't want to make it seem trivial. I guess somewhere there is a question of how important he is to you. But, presuming he matters, then for now reassure him that you love him and that you're there to support him, but lower your expectations for replies from him, and make sure that _you_ have all the support you need.
That's what I see,
Jeff