I
Im in love with my best friend who is engaged. That hurts so much.
On the advice of a therapist, I told her my feelings and how much I was hurting.
I have to deal with the heartbreak, but I dont know how to move on. Im afraid she doesnt want me in her life anymore. I cant lose my best friend.
Its all my fault and I dont see a way forward. I see a therapist and I do mindfulness exercises and stuff, but they barely help.
I just dont want to be hurting anymore.
@Scsmiley Hi :)
Your pain is understandable by everyone; unrequited love is perhaps one of the worst feelings in this world. It's absolutely not your fault that you're feeling like this, or that she doesn't feel the same way about you.
I can't think of any reason why your friend wouldn't want to talk to you anymore. For someone to be in a relationship doesn't mean that they want to ignore everybody else. If you're best friends then I'm sure she'd be happy to stay friends, if that's something you feel you can do given the circumstances. Ultimately it's your call but don't be afraid of her giving up on you.
If you feel like these feelings are already having a negative impact on your friendship, have you considered talking to her about it? If she's reliable enough to have been friends for such a long time then she should want the best for you, and perhaps you could work through it together. Keeping it bottled up and secret might do more damage than not, and ultimately she wants you to be happy, even if that means knowing something you think she might be unfomfortable with. (admittedly, it isn't comfortable, but she'd be happier knowing so she can help you)
Though it might seem impossible at the moment, I hope in time you can overcome this and have a happy and fulfilling future. All the best.
peace ✌
@heynowyoureanallstar I
@Scsmiley How did she react? If it appeared to be positive (or more like she's not weirded out by it) then you might be overthinking it a little. If it didn't go so well then there's still a chance that you can sort something out together. I don't know how long you've been friends but I doubt she'd want to see your friendship end any more than you would. If she's asked for a little time to think then let her, but again try not to be too afraid. She wouldn't want to hurt you :)
@heynowyoureanallstar She was trying to be supportive, but I could tell that she was hurt by it.
@Scsmiley are you sure it was hurt? You must understand that it's a (potentially completely unexpected) discovery for her which she also needs to work out her opinions about. If it looks like she needs time/space then let her, but don't be too afraid to follow up on it whenever you'd be confortable doing so. I know you might be scared about a follow-up conversation, but it might be worth it to avoid giving the impresison you'd prefer to cut her out. I'm not saying pester her about it but just try to get a better image of how she's feeling afterwards.
(not sure how true this is, but by being so worried and expecting a negative reaction, you might have intepreted her reaction wrongly. Try and gert her to understand your worry and hopefully you can sort things out together.)
hope things start looking up for you :)
@Scsmiley
I understand where you are coming from. It must have been difficult for you to deal with. It takes time to heal. You must learn to have a bit more patience. I have been in your situation, so I know how it feels to loose someone. Btw, how did she exactly ready when you said that you like her?
@Fairmindedskies2001
I guess this question was already answered. I did not notice that. Sorry
@Fairmindedskies2001
I feel like Im in a situation that has no hope of improving.
I don