I am Depressed, but I can't talk about it.
Since January 2020, I've been seeing a doctor and counselor about my Depression and Anxiety. Just in April 2021 was I able to start seeing a psychiatrist. She has added more meds including an ADHD med. I'm not sure why, but I feel depressed. I feel broken and hopeless. I'm unhappy. Why am I like this? Why can't I just enjoy life? I have 2 toddlers, my huskies, my felines, and my fiancé. I just want to curl up and cry. I noticed the depression returning after my dental, where they gave me Norco. Norco made me miserable mentally. I'm finding the negatives in my life and losing the positives.... I have no true friends. No one my age where we just hang out or chat or anything. I am mainly alone with my children. My fiance is a truck driver with limited time at home. This is so hard to write. I don't want to burden others, but I want it off my chest. But here at home, I have no one to vent to. I try to make friends, try to be in people's lives and have them in mine, but I'm "too emotional " or "too weird". Thank you for letting me vent. Even if I can't talk about it, writing is the next best thing. I don't want to hold it in and regret the future....
Hey there :) I’m glad you reached out and got the help you needed. You’re putting in so much effort. I’m sorry to hear about your problems. Have you tried to have a genuine talk with your fiancé? It may be hard but it’s essential you voice your concerns and issues so that, hopefully, he/she is able to help and support you like you need and deserve it. You will not burden others by being honest and asking for support. Have you felt like the therapy has helped? When you think back to a year ago?
Therapy has helped a lot. It could be the Adderall bringing back the depression so I have to reach out to my psychiatrist about it. I try talking to him, but there is a barrier in the communication. I cannot fully express through words what I need to say and he doesn't know how to respond to it. He has had his past as I have had mine. We both are working to accept it and better our future.
@RescuePassion94
I truly understand your pain. I have similar things myself. I too am married to an OTR trucker, and I don't have friends to just chat with and get off chest. This depression lately is almost paralyzing me haven't been able to work last 2 weeks cannot get in and see a counselor until next week...working on adjusting meds. again just trying to get me back to working, I may not have much advice right now because I am searching too. I just wanted to let you know I know your pain all too well and if nothing else perhaps we could be sound boards for each other. I def can help you with the loneliness of fiancé gone with work. My husband and I have been together over 16 yrs with majority of it bein him on the road...sometimes for months.
Thank you for the kind words. We've been on off over the last 11 years. He's only driven the last 2 or 3. I have to call my doctor tomorrow. My depression is getting even worse.. I'm having issues even to verbalize. I hope they find the right adjustment for you so you can keep going. 🙏
Thank you for sharing
Thank you for being open and honest with us. I can relate to some things you have mentioned. I have a few friends but honestly I don't really connect with them. I don't have a best friend, and I often feel very lonely. Its really hard. Please do not forget that you are not alone in this. No one should have to struggle alone. Life is insanely difficult, especially when struggling with mental health issues. Let's get through it one day at a time. Please feel free to watch this encouraging video: https://youtu.be/6a1p1_jzM14