I am not me anymore

Hey what happened? You want me to hear you out?

I'm so sorry for taking so long to respond to this post.

It sounds like you're really struggling with the way you see yourself right now and possibly the feelings you're going through. I'd love to speak to you if you feel it could help.

Try not to bring yourself down - don't let the negative thoughts win.

Let me see if I can write this without crying all over everything. I know this feeling all too well. It seems I have lost myself again after a year of feeling semi normal. I got out of a long term, 8 year, relationship this year that was toxic. By toxic I mean I was pretty much trying to beg emotions out of him because my emotions are always on. I finally made the decision to end things and to be honest I was relieved. Well, I met someone else three months of being single. He woke me up made me feel so beautiful and then my problems started again. I have become increasingly irate with family membersand would like to go off on the bf for no reason except not giving me attention like all the time which is unfair, trying not to cry at work and feeling just overwhelmed, damaged and broken. Me being as observant as I am thinks that I somehow haven't dealt with things that happened this year and I have exposed my vulnerability to my current boyfriend and now I am worried he will run with that and not be able to handle the intense person I am. I am not feeling myself because myself cries a lot, feels shaky and overwhelmed when I know of a person that was happy, goofy and very caring towards everyone. I hope this all makes sense. I tend to have racing and erratic thoughts. I guess the big question is, how can I just be content with my life and know people care about me even though they are not always with me? I am exhausted by being this person and I want to just not worry or cry so much!