I can
Im in love with my best friend, who is engaged. I just lost my job, I wont be able to afford therapy much longer. The wedding is in under a year, I need to be in therapy to get over this. I dont know if Im healthy enough to do the sort of work that will advance my career.
This is all too much. I cant do this anymore. I need it to stop. Please help me.
@Scsmiley This sounds terribly overwhelming, I'm sorry. Have you sought therapy previously? How has it benefitted you before?
@MysticN I
@Scsmiley that's too bad, I know that would make me feel scared and anxious. Have you learned any tools or skills that you think will help you get through your difficulties? Like ways to challenge negative thoughts? Or methods to distract yourself when feeling overwhelmed by them?
@MysticN No, not yet. And having to deal with unemployment on top of everything is just way too much. I was barely hanging on as it was, and this makes things several times more difficult.
@Scsmiley It sounds like you can see no way through to the other side. I understand that feeling. It is terribly hard to experience.
There is a way through it though. You can make it through. I wish for you that I had answers, but I don't. I do believe that it is not as hopeless as you feel it is right at this moment, and that you are not as alone as you feel you are right now. I believe this because I know other people, and I, have felt this. And other people, and I, have come through to the other side. Yes, it sucks, but you can make it.
If you are afraid you must end therapy because of expense, reach out to your therapist first. They should be able to offer guidance for you.
@MysticN There isn
@MysticN I
@Scsmiley That's good. Don't give up. Waiting sucks, feeling this way sucks. Rest. but don't give up.
@MysticN I need some hope to hold on to. I
@Scsmiley When you first posted, you said it is all too much. Maybe things will feel more manageble if you break it down to one thing at a time. It seems to me that the linchpin to your situation is needing to find a new job. Does that seem accurate? How much time do you anticipate it will take for you to find something new? how much time do you have now on your current therapy plan? how soon before it becomes a concern? what sort of financial adjustments do you need to make?
Negative thought patterns trap us, are exaggerated, emotional, often overgeneralized, catastrophizing and sometimes simply not true. Combatting it needs to reframe this thoughts. It needs to challenge them, find different possible views or options from the situation you have made in your head. You have said it is too much. If you challenge this, you might take the view that "I can handle one thing at a time", "I can make x# of phone calls today", "I can reach out to these friends for support", "I can apply for these jobs over the next week", "I can talk to my therapist with these particular questions"
Not all of these things, these are just suggestions. Your situation is unique, so it will be up to you to decide what your priorities are and how you choose to go forward. I believe you are capable, becuase you have already begun to do this.
Breathe.
@MysticN I dont have a set amount of time on my therapy. I dont think there is a linchpin problem, but the most immediate concern is finding a new job. Ive sent out a few resumes and made some phone calls but Ive heard nothing back.
If I cant find work, every problem I have will get much, much worse. Taking deep breaths wont help that.
@Scsmiley No, you're right. Breathing isn't going to solve problems. But stress and anxiety are a problem too that exacerbates everything. It clouds our ability to think clearly, it has physical effects that drain our energy.
You're taking a lot of initiative and taking steps to work toward solutions and that's great. It's hard to wait and uncertainty sucks, but it is unfortunately inevitable. During the wait and uncertainty, your own mind and body still need positive attention.
@Scsmiley
I'm not saying this is a 100% guarantee, but here's something I learned recently. A lot of employers are more likely to remember you and your name, if after an interview, you send a thank you email. If you haven't recieved an interview yet, email the employer and say something along the lines of, "I look forward to talking with you about my potential as an employee in your company."
I'm sorry that you're having such a hard time right now. It seems like the big boiling point is also that the person you love is getting married soon?