I can't feel normal

Until a few days ago, I wasn't feeling anything which I was previously feeling intensely. Since a few days I'm barely able to sleep even though I want to and when I sleep, I dream about the same person and wake up feeling tired, upset and hopeless. I haven't talked to my psychiatrist since a month and I wouldn't like to either because I don't feel comfortable sharing what's going on in my mind and I haven't been able to talk about it with anyone because I feel like everyone would definitely judge me or they would laugh at me. I can't feel normal.