Idk how to describe what I feel
Is it normal for me to can't move on from my parents' death even if it has been years? I was always getting high marks in school, never failed. But how awful life can be sometimes, now I failed and continue failing. This pandemic tested my capabilities and for many reasons, I can't study alone in a room with no enough ventilation. I always dreamt of living in the mountains or near the lake. Something that connects me with nature but I'm stuck in a city and it sucks. Everyday, I don't feel the energy to move. Mý heart literally feels numb, I don't really feel any reaction. I'm also always worried about my future. I overthink too much. I know what's wrong with me but I can't do anything about it.
Oh I can't even get to my mind what you are feeling because of parents' death... That is a terrible situation and it is explainable about your feelings.. Your parents gave you a life for creating your own story. They expected their child to be powerful, successful and mental strong human who can get from this life everything because you live only once. Your parents are watching you and becoming extremely satisfied with your personal achievements, with your love to life, but they become sad when it comes to sad thoughts inside your head. They don't you to make them sad, as you don't want them to feel like it. I believe you could make them happy having such strong child because you are brave, you can prove yourself that you will live this life feeling happiness. Don't worry, you are never alone, we are all here in this world to spend our lifes happy!
