Idk whats should be the title
I have tried to connect with a listener but I couldn't so I'm just writing here.
I noticed from like past few months I experience two kinds of mood. One is happy or can say hyper where i get excited easily and talk faster . Ehich is not usually what I do. Then again after a few days I'll be very sad or sometimes lack of emotion or maybe just tryna avoid my emotions. In this time whenever i see anti cutter or a knife I sometimes want to cut even tho I don't cut myself. In this period of time I can't sleep much and lose appetite or sometimes over eat. I also have the habbit of biting my nails and I bite them until it hurts or sometimes until I see a little blood.
Most of the time I feel emotionless but im trying to work on it.
Sometimes I feel like this too like I could be laughing my head off and then the next I'd be thinking about no one missing me if I were to go jump off a cliff. Sometimes reciting my favourite Harry Potter quote helps. Sometimes it doesnt and I just need to curl up in a ball with my sad music but at the end of the day I think that those good moments are worth more than the sad ones and that's what keeps me sane.
I also barely sleep and subconsciously I have a loose sharpener next to my bed that I sometimes contemplate using on myself yet I could never bring myself to do so.
I totally understand. These happy moments are keeping me alive till now and for this im not giving up and kinda grateful for these happy moments.
I'm back and I'm upset as I finally found a listener and then she just disappeared. Her account, her reviews, our conversation, everything
Oh damnn. I never found a listener. I hope u feel okay soon.シ︎
If you want to