I don't know
I don't know how to really explain how I feel anymore, the cuts are the only way I'm able to deal with emotions or express emotions . I don't have anyone to talk to anymore, everyone just says be happy, just get over the negative thoughts. I'm disappointing, I just don't want to be here , nothing makes me happy, I'm just distracted and empty
@peachSailboat2974
Hey Peach,
I'm so sorry you're going through such a challenging time 
I'm sure it doesn't help when people tell you to just get over everything you're feeling, when you are suffering so much. What I can tell you is, you are definitely not disappointing. I know you don't want to be here but please hold on. It seems like nothing makes you happy, are you sure? Do you like listening to music, do you have any hobbies favorite tv shows? Do you have any people in your life that you care for and care about you? I'm sure you must have at least one. If you don't, then you have one now!
It's okay to have bad days, it's okay to cry. Sometimes we need to let it out, just like a rainstorm. But you know what happens after a rainstorm? A beautiful rainbow. Storms don't last forever, I promise you.
You are a courageous and beautiful person, you can do this! Sending you positive thoughts! Take care 
xx
@KindListening Thank you for the positive messages, I do have people in my life who care but they don't understand so I feel I need to need to keep my distance before they break and walk away. The things I used to like feel like distribution now, I feel like I'm just running away from life if I enjoy them, their is alot of guilt just associated with enjoying my distributions. I have no job so I'm stuck at home with a person who is emotionally abusive"my dad" . Trying seeing a professional but since I'm broke i had to go to clinic to see one and it was a really bad experience, after trying to open up the guy just told me to get a girlfriend or he really doesn't see a future for me so free stuff sucks. I don't know how to be okay anymore or even fake, I'm sorry to burden you with all this but I appreciate you trying to help, Thank you for acknowledge my existence
@peachSailboat2974
Hello Peach! So sorry to hear about you feeling that way :/ It's Okay to not how we feel sometimes. Feelings are hella complicated. It's sad that cutting has been your only outlet during this difficult situation but it would be so much better and benefiting to yourself if you could try something else! Mindfulness, meditation, music, or expressing yourself in a letter/diary/video can be helpful alternatives.
Happy to see you reached out here also. :) Know that you're not alone! You can connect to a listener or to a group support chat! The 7cups community is full of lovely people who will be glad to hear you and help you out.
Whatever you're going through, know that this is not your final destination. You will have better days buddy :) Hang in there <3
Sending lots of love and support your wayyy <3