I don't know how to put my depression into words

I always feel alone. I only have few friends and I can feel that people,especially elders doesn't like me. I don't even have besfriend. I have a boyfriend right now and I think I'm already pushing him hard because I always get emotional everytime he can't come over. There are times I wanted to commit suicide .There are also time I cry myself to sleep. I even easily cry whenever I hear slow music. I even envy people who still have their Mom and ended crying alone at home. I wanted to talk to somebody but I can'teven make them stay to talk to me longer. Ifeel so unwanted and hopeess. I pity my boyfriend for always understnding my emotions. please I need help.