I don't know what to do anymore

I feel so trapped and alone. I don't feel comfortable talking to my friends, I'd rather die then open up to my parents, and I feel like I'm making my partner miserable. I've been fighting my depression and anxiety alone for almost 2 years now and it's hard. Sometimes I'll have happy breaks where I don't feel depressed for days/weeks/months, and then I'll randomly switch right back to depression. And the only thing that's making me smile is talking to my partner, but I feel like I don't make THEM happy. And I don't want to tell them that I depend on them so much because it feels so manipulative, and I'm just so lost and lonely and tired.