I dont think I can ever love myself

Alright, so this happened just recently. So I'm subscribed to this female streamer (who's also everything I wish for in a wife, but that's off topic), who has a discord (it's like a chatroom site for gamers). So just a short while ago, someone posted a song saying it gives off "super positive energy". That's when my blood started to boil, and I screamed in my mind, "Will that song help me find a job that's better than the one I than the bull have now? Will that song help me find a place of my own so I can stop living with my mother? WILL THAT SONG HELP ME FIND SOMEONE WHO WILL LOVE ME ENOUGH, CARE ABOUT ME ENOUGH, AND TRUST ME ENOUGH TO MAKE LOVE TO ME?!"

That's when I realized something (or maybe I've always realized, I just refused to believed it). I hate myself. I hate how I look, I hate how I talk, I hate how I only play video games, I hate how I get nervous around women, I hate how I dont believe anyone who compliments me, I HATE EVERYTHING!

I know that you must first love yourself but how can I when the thing I hate the most is myself.