I feel like I

So I just joined this website out of desperation. Here's the story:

I procrastinated all weekend on several important projects including a lengthy essay. I've tried starting on I but stopped after working for an hour and a half after just not being able to get it right. It feels like dots arn't connecting in my brain.
I closed my device and sat back, and I suddenly got an extreme urge to self harm. I genuinely thought I was making some good work on my drepression but now that I'm looking at the situation I am in right now I dont think I've made much at all. Now I'm sitting here crying, digging my self into a deeper hole.

I feel like if I just give in to self harming then maybe I'll feel better and I can finish my essay.