I just need to vent my feelings
First I am not good in english but I want to talk to someone how I feel . I am so lonely . I have no dream . I really hate myself . I am a useless . I just live to wait the end of my life . Two year ago I go to hospital coz I need to cure I eat a med around one month but I think it not help . Then I stop . I never talk or confess this to my family or my friend coz I so shame I have no courage . Today I only work eat sleep . I so confuse if I have no dream . What do I live for . What a purpose of my life . I always smile and make everbody smile coz I don't want anybody to notice my real feeling . But sometime it really hurt . Sometime I cry alone . I want to confess more but I think I need practice my english skill first . Sorry for my bad in english skill .
I like him hell never like me he likes my friend we'll never the the same friends or friends again I'm weird and awkward he probably hates me and he loves her so much I want to be friends with him but I csnt bc of my stupid hormones and I want him to be gone but I dont hes everywhere every time and I feel like he flirts with me but then he doesnt and flirts with my friend if it even is flirting. I went to school the other day and considered slamming my head repeatedly on my desk 3 times in 3 different classes and had to restrain myself by scribbling on a piece of paper. I did it bc I realized/ just slipped into my mind even more bc I already knew that I'm a dumb idiot and a failure who will always be the dumb one and a failure to myself my friends my family and school.
I feel lonely and I hate myself so much and I dont want others to know so I smile bc I want to make them happy and it makes them happy and I dont want them to know but I want to tell someone I cry alone almost atleast once a day and at school I hate myself so much I hate everything about myself. I dont want anyone to know...everything stresses me out my parent sare the most annoying and naggy ppl ever the only class I'm happy in is starting to stress me out bc of its difficulty I just want to be alone but I dont but I do I hate myself so much get me out get me out get me out
I WANT TO SCREEAM BUT I CANT BC ITLL BE TOO LOUD. I HAATTEEE MYSELF. I HATE ME SO MUCH. MY CHEST FEELS LIKE ITS BEING COMPRESSED I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I hATE MYSELF
AHHHHHHHHHHHHH I got 3 hours of sleep again today and I forgot my earbuds I feel dead and irritated and sad and everything bad I dont want to do anything sbdbdjrjr
i hate myself. With a burning passion. I want to slam my head repeatedly on the desk in school sometimes. I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself. I fail at everything. I'm a weakling. Weak and pathetic. It's so embarrassing. I hate myself. Crying is weak. Weak. And pathetic. I'm a piece of trash. The most annoying, disgusting, pathetic, weak, stupid, idiotic, useless, fat, egotistic, selfish, greedy, lazy, fake, and pitiful piece of garbage. I. Hate. Myself. Nothing can change anymore. Nothings going to help.
I'll never be good enough for anyone or anything.
@gentleCup1525
Too hard on yourself gentlecup. Take it easy, step by step, day by day. You are ok. You are not a failure. Start to tell yourself that you are ok and you can do it. You can see things differently if you try something different. Talk to yourself nicely. Be your own friend. It starts in your head. You can do this!
@easyWater4109
;-;;; okie thxx I'll try
Sometimes I just feel trapped... like the things that I used to enjoy now feel uninteresting... things i've put so much time and effort into now feel like nothing... I have no motivation to start something new... theres only one thing that actually brings me happiness... but its during a time where I'm in pain everytime I do it. Its vauge i know, but I dont know of a solution... I'm not suposed to feel this way... I'm privilaged... a good family... education... yet I'm not getting the fufilment of a proper life... the only thing I want to do is curl up in bed and watch movies and junk on my phone... I don't hate myself... I don't want to cause others harm or distress... I just want to find a way to be happy... and right now I can't figure out how...
Trying to get out of bed. Okay I am up. Get up. Done ✅
