I just want someone to talk to
I have been consistently depressed for more than two weeks now. I've suffered from depression since I was about 13. I want to talk to someone about it, but there is no one I can talk to. Whenever I try to tell my mom about it, she just tells me I'm pitying myself and acts as though I chose to be depressed. My boyfriend actually wants me to be open with him, but I can't tell him either. He is very empathetic and feels like he's responsible for his loved ones' happiness. When his loved ones are sad he feels like he's failed them. His previous girlfriend had severe depression and was suicidal. He says she always made him sad and he likes that I make him happy, so I don't want to upset him. This is why I'm here at 7 cups. I just want someone to talk to.
Sorry if this post is poorly worded. My brain is fried right now.
Everyone here on 7cups is willing to talk to you, anytime! That's what listeners are for! You're not alone :)
If your boyfriend says he wants you to be more open with him, believe him. He's offering an ear for you to talk to, take it! Just because his ex made him sad, that might not necessarily be due to her depression. She's his ex for a reason, and you're his gf for a reason - you make him happy! And being honest with him about what you're going through won't change that. That's what relationships are for - sharing struggles with one another, helping each other through them. Supporting one another. If anything, it will bring the two of you closer I think.
Thanks for commenting. I know that it would bring us closer together and I really would like to be able to open up to him, but I don't want to bring him down. It isn't much fun being around people who are depressed all the time. I have known people like that and i didn't have anything against them, but I had to limit the amount of time I spent with them because it emotionally drained me. Me and my boyfriend are especially affected by this since we're both sensitive. So that's why I try to hide it from him.
Hiding things is never a good option. Be open because he truly loves you and wants you to be happy. Truthfully, even though it seems counter intuitive, letting him in will make you both happier :)
Hi!
I think I know how you feel. My ex boyfriend and I were both really depressed and I was constantly wondering if I should tell him things or not but I did anyway. Not all the things but some stuff here and there. And I was always there for him too but he refused to talk to me about his problems or worries. He rarely talked about what's wrong or about his past, he only talked about some things when he was drunk because he "didn't wanna hurt me and make me feel bad about myself and remind me of my past and things that already went through". So I stopped talking to him about what was bothering me and this was one of the reasons we broke up later on. Because I felt like he doesn't trust me and relationships are based on trust. So maybe let him know that you aren't ready to talk to him about certain things or at least try to tell him small things you worry about and talk about the big things here on 7 cups.
This is a very good point. Relationships need trust; a lack of trust robs a relationship of intimacy and causes a rift. He opened up to me last night and told me he was depressed. I appreciated being able to comfort him, and I admitted that I had also been depressed lately. I like sharing things with him but I don't like him to be upset, so it's hard to choose between protecting him and pouring my heart out to him.
So I think your idea is good; I'll share the big things on 7 cups and the smaller things with him.
Are you seeking professional help? Medication, while not always a magic solution, can help. Maybe find a therapist who specializes in depression. I currently have no one in my life to talk to except my therapy team (no joke, five people in total). It helps tremendously.
Try reading "Calming the emotional storm". It's a book based on dialectical behavioral therapy, which they've found helps with mood disorders of all kinds. It's not expensive, and it's something you'll read over and over to practice the techniques to help you.
Thanks for your advice :) Yes, I've sought professional help. I've seen three therapists and I'm considering seeing my old one again. I've also tried Prozac and it worked at first, but it ended up making things worse. 7 cups is helpful though.
It's taken years for me to find medication that helped. I've been on a ton of them, without much luck. Finally, Gabapentin has worked very well. My Dr is adding an SSRI to help with the extreme episodes I still have (all of those episodes are caused by thoughts of my ex).
Therapists are difficult to find. It's hard to click with someone and actually have them help you. Don't give up hope. You'll get better, hopefully sooner than later