I miss who I was before.
I cannot stop thinking about the man I love. I cannot stop loving him. I shouldn't miss someone who tried to kill me. I shouldn't miss someone who hit me. I shouldn't miss someone who cheated on me and abused me in every way he could. I shouldn't miss someone who kidnapped me from my families house. I shouldn't miss someone who attacked me at my doctor's or chased me into dollar tree and picked me up and threw me into his car and beat my *** and kidnapped me, he held me hostage, he controlled all of my money, my phone, my life, everything. I just feel stupid for missing him even though he was the worst thing that ever happened to me in my entire life. I felt stupid for staying, when I left, it got worse and I felt stupid for coming back again and again and again. Its a lose, lose situation. When will I be able to move on. When will I stop thinking about him. I might have made it out alive but I live life in fear and with a broken heart. I don't want to love him anymore.
I can sort of relate. My dad raped and hit me and killed my 2month old sister. He kidnapped me 6 times and cheated on my mum with my funking grandma. You are not alone. I know how hard it is to move on, but you can do it. You were strong enough to put up with that horrible behaviour from your husband, so you can be strong enough to get through this and you are not alone. If you need to talk, just message me and I will respond as soon as I can. You ate loves. Even if you don't know me, I love you and I believe that you can get through this. You are strong and brave even if you don't believe it yourself and I've got you. Anyone can go through what you went through, but only strong and determined people can heal. I love you. You are loved and appreciated. And you are strong, so stay strong.
Sorry, I should have said "the man yiu love". My apologies
