I need help
I try to convince myself (atleast), that I didn’t have a bad life at all, from what I can remember (because half my memory is gone, haha), but everyday, I wake up angry, lonely and wanting to shut everything out. Most days, I just want to sleep through my days but of course I can’t because I’ve got a lovely fiancé and my beautiful little girl. All I ever pray and put out into the universe is that I want peace within me and happiness. Some days, I feel like screaming out my lungs and ending it all and on other days it’s me holding back a breakdown cos I feel like I’m not living enough, I’m not being a good parent or a present partner. I’m tired. I just want/ need help. I’m holding on to thin strings that are hooked to my daughter really. I’m holding on because of her but I need more because I cannot hold on to that if I cannot give her my all.
@honestLime6256
Hi! Good on you for reaching out, and for acknowledging that you need help. Our life/childhood can look perfect on the outside, but that doesn't mean it was good, healthy, or met our basic needs. It can really help to talk stuff over with a good listener/counsellor. Sometimes we minimise or forget things that caused traumas and problems with our thinking/behaviour. Sometimes anger is covering up past hurts or feeling stuck or unsure how to move forward/deal with obstacles. Sometimes there are basic skills we need in life that we didn't learn, like communication, confidence, routine, and this creates obstacles or fear.
Great to hear you have your daughter and fiance, and are holding on to this and I hope you find your way forward in whatever ways work for you. 💛
