It feels harder to find the right medication than to feel like crap all the time
I am on my 3rd or 4th different antidepressant now? Venlafaxine or Effexor is the newest, Prozac was the first (full body rash allergic reaction), Wellbutrin.... so maybe 3.
Anyway, at first I was feeling alright. I felt more stable and not so low, but the second week in I am sleeping about 14+ hours a day, missing class, choosing sleeping over eating or my other responsibilities.... I feel like the problems are just going to compound. I have a visit with my doctor in two days to do our formal ADHD testing bc my therapist alerted me that some of what I thought were coping mechanisms were really large signs. And it makes sense, if I am struggling with these issues I can't put my finger on it gets exhausting and I am always anxious.
If the testing comes back pointing to ADHD... that's a dopamine problem, not seratonin, but I have never experimented with study drugs when they were offered to me in the past because I was nervous it would do NOTHING and out me as "learning disabled" or something. Now my reaction to antidepressants is really demoralizing me that they may not help...
I guess I just feel like a bump on a log for sleeping my days away and letting down my professors. I'm not wallowing in it.... but even after sleeping all day I am tired writing this. And that makes me feel guilty too.
I recognise your struggles, I've tried a bunch of antidepressants as well, most of them giving me terrible side effects and barely any actual effects, or I would be emotionless all together.
But after all that I've now found a combination of drugs that makes my emotions more bearable without numbing them at all. It gives me more leeway to regulate my emotions.
So what I'm saying is, don't give up, keep communicating with your doctor and don't settle for mediocre results
Good luck 🙂
