Just a rant
It feels like Im drowning. Everything I looked forward to crumbled. I would find myself crying over the stupidest things. I cant help but feel like an awful daughter. An awful senior cadet. An awful person in general. People keep saying how good I am or that Im so nice, but I feel like theyre all just lying to me or just saying that to get something useful out of me. I want to live and be able to say that Im worth something, I want to feel like I can go on without crying every day. I just cant take it anymore, it hurts too much. I cant take the sadness anymore. I cant take the anxiety anymore. I cant take on anything anymore. I just want to sleep and have my problems disappear.
@MoonlitJasmine
That would be great to go to sleep and let the problems go away. They don't sadly. It might be helpful to start a journal of what you do and how people react to you. I think it's human nature to start to generalize when a series of bad things happen. For example, this has been an awful year for me, and it's easy to say that this is a horrible and depressing year. However, Google asked me if I wanted to make some of my photos into a photo book for 2018, and I went through, and the photos tell a different story than what I perceive. My point is that you have accomplishments, such as being a senior cadet. One day, you might be a fine officer. If you keep a journal, you can refer back to events more objectively, and it might no longer seem like everything is failing.
