Just venting a little
Sorry if this doesn't belong here, I'm new to this. If I have to, I'll delete it, but well...
I guess I just needed to get this out. I've had to bottle up my feelings for who knows how long just to not upset anyone. But honestly, I can't go on like this. I lost all hope and I can't see a vision for a brighter future. Don't tell me it will be okay one day, because you can't know. No one knows, what will happen. Neither do I. But all I know is that it's getting worse and worse the more I try to help myself. I almost feel like maybe life wants me to be miserable. I lost all feeling, I have felt happy only once in my whole life and then I got anxiety and would get panic attacks everyday. I can no longer feel love. No joy, no hope, nothing...
I feel so incredibly alone, but I can't make friends, I live in a small town and I know everyone my age. All of those people bullied me in my old school. I barely get out of the town, I'm only 18 after all. The earliest I might (MIGHT) get out of here is in summer, when I go to Bulgaria. Either way it wouldn't matter, because I can't connect with people anymore. I used to be able to, but can't.
I'm crying everyday, I really am trying so hard to live a normal life, but I can't feel anything
Well...Thanks to anyone, who read this. I really appreciate that. And again, I'll delete this, if I have to, just let me know.
Thank you.
@NiniTheTomato
Only listener-members chat are allowed on 7 cups, but you can both enter a public chat room and chat there.
Anyway, I'm so sorry for the situation you're in. You've been stuck for too long in a smalll community where everyone has failed you and it looks like you're too emotionally hurt and tired to further try and change your situation, even if you'll have the possibility. You've tried for so long, completely alone, with no possibility to succleed, no wonder you can't anymore. And to think it could have been just a matter of time, time to get away from that horrible environment and try somewhere else. I think not all hope is lost, you won't be tired forever. It won't be easy, but I see how things can change. You're left with a lot of hard work for yourself, and it's not fair. You did nothing to deserve it. I get how you might think you lost motivation, you lost your feelings, it doesn't even feel worth it anymore. Those are all legit feelings, yours a terribly hard position to be in, it's more than anyone, especially your age, can stand, it's definitely bigger than you and you might feel powerless. You're doing a hug thing hanging on day by day. And if you don't have any other options, try waiting, just waiting and reducing your energy expenses to the bare minimum. You're approaching an age where hopefully your life will be more and more in your heands. It really is likely that things will change, and I hope it with all my heart, because you've been so brave and tough until now, you deserve it. You're worth it. I'm not asking you to believe there's hope, you said you don't, you said it's too much for you, it's ok. Don't hope, don't expect, just go on and wait if that's what you can do now. One little thing at a time.
Best wishes
@GhostlyLilian
Where is that public chatroom, if you don't mind me asking? I tried to find some group chats or something, but I can't find anything
And thank you, I appreciate that long reply so so much. I'm trying my best to somehow go on and yes, I have lost all hope, but I'm doing all I can to just get used to it. If there is nothing else I can do, then that's the only thing that I can do to not go crazy. I'm glad I can at least share my feelings here ^^ thank you
@NiniTheTomato
See the big cup, top left? Open the menu --> chat --> group support chat, and then pick the option you think best. Group chat rules are changing lately, I didn't look too much into the new rules because I almost never use chatrooms. I hope there won't be limitations for new members
@GhostlyLilian
Ohh, so that's why I couldn't find it
There is nothing there at all :/ maybe I don't fit the requirements yet
