Keeping a friendship with someone who is depressed?
I made an online friend who claims they have severe depression. We have met once in person but that's it. We talked a lot initially and then they just stopped replying and told me they were feeling moody, but remained active on all social media. After a week they sent me a snapchat and we started talking again and we eventually met up. After meeting we spoke for another week like usual and they just disappeared - it was over my birthday and they didn't even say happy birthday to me. There was nothing leading up to this disappearance, really. Everything was going fine.
I spoke with them Sunday and they said they are so grateful I'm being patient and kind with them. However, after that they just disappeared again. Didn't even open my message like before. I see them active on social media so I'm not really sure what is going on... do they just not want to be my friend? Should I send them something today even though they didn't open my last text message? I thought we really hit it off but now I feel confused because I feel as if I don't initiate the conversation they're never going to reach out to me.
Thanks for your big heart and caring
Keeping friendship or relationship with someone suffering with mental illness not easy it depending from you extra understanding and patience so not all of people stay some of them just choose to leave in the end and that understandable
Just being nice counts I think ,in all cases
@icecreambeaches
as someone who has done that to my friends a million times, i can say that they most likely do care about you and as they said, they appreciate you bein patient and kind to them. tell them how you feel about everythin because if you don't you might start to resent them and become more hostile than you really mean to because it's all too much. if you can't handle the back and forth moods and the disappearin act, you shouldn't leave yourself in that situation and should end the friendship. if you can handle it, you should try to let them know that you're not goin anywhere and if they don't text you for a while, text somethin like "hey i don't know what's goin on but i just want to let you know i'm here" or maybe even call them. them bein active on social media is jerky of them, but i know social media for me is my ventin place, even when i'm hidin from the rest of the world. so basically just talk about it and see what happens.
@icecreambeaches
As someone who has been on both sides of this, the best answer would be to just be patient. If they are suffering from severe depression then that is most likely where the inconsistencies are stemming from. They need acceptance and understanding- especially if its mental illness. However, they could be gently trying to end the friendship as well. This really could go both ways. Just remember that your intentions are good and anyone in your position would be confused too. Just stay strong! Remaining patient and kind is the best route you can go :)
@LoyalCoconut4637 We spoke all day yesterday and they once again left out of nowhere last night. They asked me how my day was and everything. Part of me feels like they're trying to end the friendship, but after talking to so many people about it theres endless possibilities and I'm trying to stop overthinking it. Next time they send me something or we talk, I'm going to ask if they want to do something in person. The worst case scenario is they deny or never answer.
When you are feeling really low, exhausted, self-hating or even suicdal, responding to messages feels the the scariest thing. I personally start to think "Why would anyne want to talk to me or know me? I'm worthless", or "I am going to say the wrong thing and they will hate me, and I will then hate mysefl even more for being so useless". So it feels safer to avoid talking to others, although they might still have the mental energy to scroll through social media becasue they need a distraction from their horrible feelings.
Just becasue they are online and haven't responded doesn't mean they ignore you - they probably desperately want to talk to you but just can't, they just don't feel worthy or are too scared. Thats my personal expereince anyway :)
