Marriage, Affairs, Baby..

My husband and I celebrated a new baby (feb 2021) and 5 year marriage anniversary (nov 2021). 5 months after the birth of the baby, I noticed a change in him. I went through post-partum depression and struggled with Covid and being caged in a house every day while he had his adult life he got to go off to. He became distant, always ion the phone, making plans with people, not sharing his day to day with me, being secretive, and stopped being affectionate. I tried talking several times with him about it but got no where. In October 2021, things were way worse and I was sure he was having an affair. I know he writes his passwords down in his notebook so I signed into his Facebook once I couldn’t look at his phone due to him putting a lock on it. There were over 15 women he was messaging, and mostly inappropriate sexual comments. I called him out and he just acted angry and not comforting at all. I also found out he was texting several women. So around 30 women he was communicating with. He also had an emotional affair with his coworker who he also met up with a few times.. while I was finding all of this out, he randomly texts me one afternoon few days after our anniversary, that he had filed for divorce 4 days prior to our anniversary and hid it from me. I was obviously upset and hurt. He chose to leave and get drunk to become “numb.” Next day doesn’t say a word to me but leaves to clear his head. Turns out he met up with that coworker again. Days go by and I have to go to him to talk about things. He eventually decided he wanted to stay married and made a horrible mistake and called it off. He started therapy to find out why he did what he did with all the women and his coworker and how to change and be present in our marriage. Well that was in beginning of December 2021. He told me all these things he was going to work on and prove to me he doesn’t want to be married. Here we are March 2022, and the opposite has happened. Never once has he come to me to talk about anything that happened and explain himself. Take any accountability. He knows how much I am hurting and shows zero affection. We don’t talk, sleep in separate beds, it’s been several months since we have even kissed. But the worst part is that I found out he never called it off with his coworker. Never talked with her and told her they crossed to line and need to keep a work relationship only. He was still over sharing and talking overly friendly with her still. His response to why he still talked with her was that he couldn’t give a coworker a cold shoulder…. He also downloaded an app to reconnect with old friends some ex’s. He again didn’t see anything wrong with that. I explained the problem is your putting your time and energy into other people and you put zero effort into our marriage. I’m so heartbroken and confused and you continue to act like I don’t exist. I think I have to divorce him. I tried to keep our family together and forgive him for the past but I can’t forgive someone when they never tried to help me heal and understand or even act like they cared about their actions. He also is making the same mistakes within months of the same issues. But apparently he all of a sudden knows how to talk to women even thought he told me he was only going to speak with women who were friends of our marriage.. I’m just so hurt. I lost my job to take care of the baby. I’m home 24/7, cooking, cleaning and with a baby all day and my husband works and is too busy with other women to notice I exist.