My 7 Cups Dream Journal
Entry 1: The Boxes of Cats
It was a little strange but what I remember most is visiting a house that was in my old neighborhood that I’d recently moved from (it really wasn’t, so dream logic) but I came back to collect something I left or my mother left.
It was very sad and the people who were there now were sort of okay with me wandering around and looking. I kept noticing the signs that I’d once lived there (painted over places that still revealed chipped paint and stuff I recognized from my apartment).
Then I looked beneath a couch or table and found boxes full of kittens. Two boxes were full of meowing kittens in water that the new home owners had no idea were there, and one more box held a very dead cat that was an older one from a previous litter. All of the kittens were starving without their mother and I knew that it was the reason why the older one passed.
The new owners suddenly smelled the dead cat and I took it upon myself to get rid of it. When I came back an hour later all of the kittens were gone, and when I was walking past another house I could see all the kittens. They’d all grown up into adult cats!
It’s my mom’s birthday. She had a good one today. My older sister visited this time with her family.
She brought my mom diapers, towels, and groceries.
I stayed home and only sent her birthday texts. I had to get some prescriptions that were given too late to fetch after yesterday’s appointment. One is for arthritis pain and the other is a lidocaine cream. I don’t think I have arthritis but if it works on my hand and arm I’ll take it!
She didn’t give me anything to take for my GERD and it feels gross and awful. I need to begin eating very bland food to make things easier on my stomach as I wait to be referred to a gastroenterologist if ever. If I had enough money I’d get the over the counter version of the medicine I was taking. Maybe later on.
My job developer missed our appointment. I applied to one job myself and then tried to rest. I emailed her and suggested that we make my next appointment at her earliest convenience.
Earlier today as I was preparing for the appointment I realized that my internet protection was going to be canceled, so I got myself a cheaper version and started with a month long free trial. I think it might also have the same properties as my LifeLock so I’ll have to decide if I want to keep the other that has no internet protection. It would probably be cheaper.
My mom called and we chatted about how her birthday went. She really liked her gifts and wants to have a nice evening watching tv.
You have done so many good things over the last few days. I can see where you might have hurt yourself a bit helping your mom, but I am glad you stuck to the plan of focusing on your stuff after your visit. What you did was set up a nice birthday for your mom by handling all of her little stuff.
I know my mom doesn't get along with technology either. Even those senior phones are actually a little tough. It took her a year to adapt to her current one and she still sometimes struggles with it. I am glad that you are trying to find other ways for your mom to get to the doctor.
It sounds like you are going to find the right medications for your stuff. It is good that the pharmacist is understanding about some of your challenges between the doctor and the insurance.
You applied for a job on your own. Keep doing things like that. It sounds like you are trying not to let anything stop you. Great work!
Getting solid sleep and starting minimal exercise and a better diet are all excellent. I had some grilled eggplant and brown rice myself tonight.
I will be back again in two days. We are leaving tomorrow on a trip, but I usually find time to do Cups anyway. It should be good, but I am hoping that I can keep the exhaustion and panic to a minimum. I will be in a different time zone so I may look like I am getting on at a different time.
Your grilled eggplant and brown rice sounds very nice.
I’m going to hit the store tomorrow to pick up some healthier options that fit my dr’s suggestions for a bland diet. Cream of Wheat or Cream of rice, plain baked or mashed potatoes without skin, pasta or noodles, and apple sauce. I need to avoid triggers like caffeine but I still want a cup in the morning so I’ll have a half cup instead of a full one. Also processed or fried foods too.
Yesterday was my last therapy appointment. She’s going to her new job sooner than she expected, so I have to wait for her supervisor to finish trading off her cases. I should hear back in 2 weeks.
I’ve told my mom that we’d try to update her various payment information next week. If I have to go in person, I will but maybe on a weekend so I don’t lose the whole week.
Please enjoy your trip! Don’t worry about the time zone thing, just go have fun.
In a place with no internet access except for about 5 minutes. I will be back in full contact maybe tomorrow night but possibly not until Tuesday. Then I can actually read messages.
Please have a nice time there, bestVase!
I’m going to my mother for Mother’s Day but first I did a lot of good chores for myself, I did a lot of laundry this afternoon, made my bed with the new sheets, and will take a shower before bed so I won’t have to travel with wet hair.
My mom was dealing with what she thought was food poisoning a few days ago. Now it’s just a uti. I’m bringing her something from my grocery bakery for the holiday, but once I’m in her neck of the woods I’m going to get her a nice bottle of cranberry juice. I’ve advised her that if it gets any worse she’s going to have to see a dr.
I’ll leave after I help update her payment information. So I’ll try and finish it as soon as possible to avoid traveling during the hottest part of the day.
It was under 90 degrees in my area and it was so uncomfortable. I’m going to bring my big paper fan with me!
Also, please have a Happy Mother’s Day!
Ok. so I am finally back. I am so sorry that it took so long. I have never been in an area with such poor internet coverage. But it was good to get away. It was pretty hot where we were too. My only challenge was with the final day or so. We did about 9 hours of driving one day. My son did the driving which was great except he was going about 80 miles an hour through mountains while playing loud music. That was my Mother's Day. What we saw was awesome so it was worth it. But my exhaustion the next day became overwhelming when our airplane flight got very delayed and there was a screaming 3 year old behind us. We ended up getting off and taking a different flight on another airline. It was a very expensive panic attack, however we did get home safely.
I hope that your visit with your mom went well. UTI's definitely need a doctor and some meds. It does sound like you were doing lots of good things for yourself in the meantime. Those will strengthen you. I love the food ideas and getting a new therapist lined up. I hope that will go well for you.
May today have been a soft, peaceful one. I am back on my every other day schedule.
Not a problem. I’m just glad you saw awesome stuff and had a trip. I can’t blame you for switching flights after such exhaustion and being seated so close to a screaming child.
My visit with my mother went fairly well. She loved the baked good! It was a thing of Madeline brownies. I got her the cranberry juice and advised her to just have a little here and there but to also drink more water. To stop drinking water like two hours before bed to reduce the risk of having to get up and down.
While I was there I updated what payment methods I could; I fixed the one for her rent payments and helped her during the call to Lively.
We ran into an issue when we tried to do the same for her Spectrum and Spectrum Mobile as there was an error in their system that wasn’t accepting her updated card. Before I left I rebalanced her transaction register to reflect the days activities and reminded her that she had to leave the money set aside for her Lively bill.
I left a descriptive note for her about what she had to do next like call her Direct Express and ask them if there’s a problem effecting payments and so on. When she gets that money she can go to a Spectrum store and try to pay at least one of the bills with a one time payment.
I went home and slept like the dead then woke up in the late morning remembering that she shouldn’t take certain steps I’d made notes for because she’s not going to have enough money for either Spectrum bill until she gets her first check at the end of the month. She’s going to use her last 60 bucks for diapers, cigarettes, and laundry money.
I’d briefly talked to her today about helping her move this massive mirror that my younger sister dumped in the closet. It’s one of the ones that are supposed to hook up to the internet so it’s freakishly heavy. She’d arrived last night and my mom was able to talk her into removing the tent she’d found and dumped there too. She’s coming back tomorrow to move it with the help of an ex-boyfriend with a car.
I had a bit of a scare when I finally went outside and saw a notice about the our utilities being in danger of shutting off due to lack of payment from the owner. Thankfully one of the people I’m familiar with at the management company answered my email to say that I should disregard it as the owner has taken care of the bill.
Oof, and I finally heard back from my job developer in the form of a request for a Zoom call since she missed the last one. Thankfully I’m now free for tomorrow.
Please rest more, bestVase.
You should be resting too! What a lot of stuff that you accomplished for your mom. Now you can return to stuff for you. How is the diet, back pain, and exercise going? I hope that your job development talk went well.
I am overall doing okay. Still really tired with lots of school work, but I am hanging in there. @integrityblues
I’ve tried my best. Over the last couple days it’s kept changing whether or not my younger sister and the ex were actually going to remove it. The most that happened was the ex showed up drunk and really wanted to keep the mirror for himself. The most he did was put it in an upright position in the closet so there was more space.
I was really frustrated about it and invited myself over today to move it as far out of the closet as I could with one healing shoulder and my mom had completely forgot that I’d offered. Then when I got there she showed me what was done and told me the story.
Since I was already there I made sure to tighten the screws on my mom’s bathroom door knob. I tried replacing her shower head but it was a mess. I ended up just setting up a maintenance request for her so that it could be either properly attached or just redone by someone with greater skill than the two of us.
She didn’t like me nagging about maybe setting up a second request to see to her smoke alarms so I let her be. I’d already stopped pressing about going shopping for her since she had an awful time trying to do it herself- the most I’d done with that in mind was stop at the store before coming to her house so I could get a frozen bag of peas to use as an improvised ice pack and a couple of the very small banana cream pie/ banana pudding parfait she loves.
I walked like 4 miles today between the buses and trains and I’m nice and tired. The most I did when I got home was go to the store to get something cheap to eat. The diet could be better but I’m trying to focus on excluding trigger foods that make my GERD even worse. I’m getting more exercise and I’m putting more effort into chores.
The back pain isn’t as much of a problem. It’s the shoulder still. The pain still sometimes radiates down my arm and makes my hand numb and it’s bad when I try to sleep. Nowhere near as bad as before the steroid shot.
I now sleep with my pillows at a sharper angle do my shoulder has better support and fold up a throw blanket so I can rest my arm on it.
My job development talk was meh. She’d missed our Zoom, asked for a call, and then missed it too. She finally got back to me to say there was a meeting, then someone hit her car and damaged a mirror and messed up the paint job. She said that she’d send me some leads but hasn’t.
It was just a rough day because between that I was also dealing with trying to reach someone to schedule an appointment for a endoscopy and I got so frustrated that I cried. At least the people I was speaking to were nice, and after I was sent to the right number we were able to discuss what I was being asked to do- it wasn’t an appointment, I was just in the queue and wouldn’t get the endoscopy for months. Then I began crying because my acid reflux was terrible since my dr hadn’t given me anymore omeprazole to tide me over since my appointment last week. The person on the phone was able to get me a prescription for it so I can wait.
While I was visiting my mom today I’d gotten a call from an unfamiliar number and it turned out it was someone trying to have me speak to an agent about the specialty procedure. I ran out of time once so got home and checked the numbers so I’ll call them back tomorrow.
I’m glad you’re doing okay. Keep hanging in there!
It sounds like you had a really rough day. I am hoping that you are able to step back from your mom and helping her again soon. That worry, frustration, and physical labor is not letting your shoulder heal. Remember that taking time away for you is the only way that you have enough energy to help her.
I am sorry that the doctor appointments and job appointments have been so hard lately as well. Your exhaustion with your mom probably compounded how much emotions that you were experiencing.
It is great that you are exercising and avoiding trigger foods. Sending lots of peace and strength this evening.
Thanks bestVase.
She’s not doing well as she’s now dipped into the money left over for her Lively autopay but at least her apt manager fixed her shower head.
I’d looked at her account and she’d gone to the store for more cigarettes obviously. I’m stressed over it but there’s nothing I can do (not that it would change much if I could, to be honest). So I only advised her to call Lively and figure out how long she’d have phone service after she misses the bill. Then she might be able to pay that once she gets her checks in.
The news about my own rent going up 90 bucks isn’t great. I’ve planned to let the credit I’ve got take care of June’s rent so that money can go towards paying off my credit card to knock out those payments before the July rent increase. I’ll also decide if I want to keep Netflix on the current autopay or just get the occasional gift card.
I’m obviously tired and stressed so I’m trying to get as many of my own tasks done. I need to look at my dental paperwork again and decide if I want to change it myself or allow the assignment of a new plan since mine won’t be accepted in my county anymore.
I’m getting my carbon monoxide detector fixed on Monday after my job development Zoom. After all of that I’m going to try and contact the drs again so I can figure out when I’ll get the endoscopy over with since they’d tried to contact me.
I’m hoping that things are still going well for you.
If you want a laugh I got to watch the newest community cat (he’d been adopted as a stray and then released by his owner before she moved away, so he’s very sweet and loving but not very used to being in the wild again) try his very best to catch a mouse.
I’d seen him carrying the mouse to our property and was so proud! I’ve been worried about how he’s getting more food and thought he’d killed the mouse. But he didn’t!
He’d dropped it alive in our flower beds and because of all the leaves there was so much camouflage!
He’d gotten the mouse sort of corned at the base of a shrub and then chased it around it, even comically peeking around the shrub to see if it was there before reaching round with one paw to grab it!
My neighbor had checked in to see the cat continue trying after I left to run errands and the cat finally gave up the hunt. The little dude probably took the best nap afterwards.
Sorry for all the rough news. It is hard when you are juggling so much. I juggle too much too. Hopefully you can get away from doing the mom worry thing for a day or two to focus on you and your stuff.
Your mom isn't necessarily doing well but she is surviving. But I understand that worry completely. My parents also aren't well at the moment and it takes everything for me not to drop all of my stuff and run over there to help. I am going on Friday but I am trying to wait until then so that I don't get so stressed that I start panicking. I have to watch my energy levels carefully. Caring for yourself allows you to really be there for your mom without being so exhausted that you can't help.
I love the cat story. Keep looking for moments like that. They will hopefully help get you through all the phone calls and figuring out the bills. You are going to make it. @integrityblues
It’s okay, I’m just trying to put a little distance between me and my mom’s problems. Those aren’t mine and I should leave her alone.
I applied for one job today, cleaned my bathroom, and got the carbon monoxide detector installed with someone from my management company.
I got my travel funds today just in time to cover my Frontier bill. When I checked the mail for it I made sure to pour fresh water into the bowl my neighbor leaves out for the cats (…and squirrels, birds, and sometimes skunks/possums).
I also got to speak with my best friend over the phone.
I’m sorry your parents aren’t doing very well. Getting what rest you can is really good when you have to prepare for particularly taxing visits.
I didn’t see the kitty cat today, but I really wasn’t outside that much today. Instead of taking a walk I pedaled.
I didn’t have a dream I can recall.
I woke up tired and sore. I’d increased the tension on my pedaler to make it more of a workout and only did ten minutes.
Got a call from my mom. She was worrying about my younger sister not answering her phone and instead calling from another phone that she doesn’t answer so it might be borrowed. I’m betting that she broke the Lively phone, but I didn’t say anything.
Mom was also worrying about paying her Lively bill. Her friend said she’d pay it but the way my mom was describing it her friend was going to give her cash- I reminded her that Lively doesn’t accept cash and her payment card only accepts deposits like SSDI. I finally told her that sure, she can contact Lively and check with them if her friend can make a one time payment with her card this time. I got her the number and reminded her what her Lively password is in case they ask.
She was panicking and suggesting that she just wasn’t going to do it. I advised her to just make another cup of coffee, set it aside, and then make the inquiry with a piece of paper to take notes. When that’s all done she can drink the coffee and then text her friend what she learned and they could plan from there.
I did the same thing and made a very small cup of coffee to have after I tried calling the numbers to see what I can do about my endoscopy appointment.
That poor man I cried to before picked up the phone and was astounded that other people keep giving us his number! He was okay that I called (because why blame the patients) and left a message for some people he knows who make the appointments and told me what numbers to look out for and pick up the calls for. I’m basically going to pick up all the calls unless they actually come up as spam likely. I just want to get this over with.
Then I had my single cup of coffee. I’m going to have my Cheerios for a late breakfast early lunch.
My mom said she’d text when everything was taken care of.
I’m going to try and do some laundry and get some pedaling in. Also I want to try and type a little.
It didn’t work out for my mom. Her friend changed her mind about helping her pay the bill.
I advised my mom to just take the money out of her account so it didn’t accidentally get pulled into a payment she couldn’t complete.
She needs that money for diapers (which she was too tired to get tonight after her nap), cigarettes, and doing laundry. She’ll get her diapers tomorrow.
I told her that if I hadn’t hurt my shoulder getting up off the ground during chores I’d have offered to go to her and help with shopping, but I made it a point to say that I wouldn’t.
Instead I tried to get her to understand how important it was that she go out and use her food stamps and not draw off of the fairly small amount of money she’s got that has to last her till payday. The first feels very far away, and hopefully she gets her first check earlier than expected.
She was very behind me staying home to rest my shoulder, and I agreed that it was for the best especially if I was trying to heal and strengthen my shoulder enough to get a job within a month or two.
The only thing my mom has planned after losing her phone is to borrow her friend’s occasionally to leave us voicemails or texts. I gave my older sister a heads up so she’d notice a text or call from an unfamiliar number.
You are doing a great job in trying to get your mom to work on her problems herself. She is going to get there and so are you. It will actually be a little easier if she can't contact you quite as easily for a week or two.
Often I end up worrying about things that work themselves out unexpectedly. My dad fell twice last week and ended up at the emergency room both times. He also had a bad cough and wasn't eating well. Mom was convinced he was dying. Instead, he had a head cold and is doing much better. I will go over this weekend, but I am now thinking that the visit will be much smoother than I thought originally.
I love the putting the water out for the animals and getting outside some. You are also letting your shoulder heal which is good. The medical stuff is going to work itself out soon and it's great that you applied for a job.
You are moving forward.
I slept in today after my meds. I’ve got a big headache that I’m trying to fight off.
My mom will do whatever. I’m just trying to not overthink it all and instead focus on myself.
I’m sorry your dad fell and had to go to the ER. I’m glad he’s doing better. Have a nice visit!
I might play some video games
I hope that your headache faded and you were able to eventually get up and do some more. But some video games aren't necessarily a bad thing as long as they don't make the headache worse.
I am now with my parents and things are okay. Two of my cousins are also here so hopefully all of us together may be able to convince mom to get out some more and spend a little less time with my sleeping father. We will see. @integrityblues
The headache eventually eased itself.
My mom contacted me yesterday answering a several days old text message. I called back confused because I thought her phone was going to be canceled soon because of a lack of payment.
our talk was very brief about the high temperatures and how both of us were going to just stay inside and be cool. I reminded her that the plan in place was for her to ask to borrow her friends phone and call/text if the line was truly canceled. The research I did suggests that it should already be done or will happen soon.
I told her to rest, that yeah it’s okay to get her diapers later on, and that I love her.
I’ve been waking up with some pretty bad shoulder and arm pain for the last two days. I iced my shoulder this morning.
My meeting with my job developer wasn’t great. It was short because of my pain and her very bad cold. She gave me a few job leads and arranged our next meeting for Wednesday.
I felt so upset over how little I can do that I got outside and slowly and carefully swept up the leaves and flowers. I spotted the friendly cat- he’d lost his old collar but was just as eager to fall over my tennis shoes and ask for a belly rub. I made sure to fill the water bowl with ice because it was the late afternoon and was pretty warm.
After I noticed someone messing with my trash cans I decided to drag them back in. It was only two garbage cans and our brand new recycling bin. I did it slowly and carefully but once I was all done my shoulder was very sore.
Once I was inside I took a long rest and then took a hot shower.
I’m going to rest and try very hard to not aggravate my shoulder further.
I’m glad that you’re with your parents and things are okay. Your cousins can be backup! If you can find something especially tempting for your mom to draw her out of the hospital or at home. It really depends on her favorite things that you can use as a means to get her out. Like a favorite coffee, meal, magazine or book?
Whenever I was being especially firm on staying inside and being away from others my late friend would take me out to breakfast. I’m a sucker for a hot cup of coffee and an omelette. Or a hamburger. Other times she’d invite me over to her place where she’d make a nice pot of coffee, put together a basic but still nice breakfast, and also let me lay with her dog, whom she knew I loved so much!
So if she likes animals or nature you could just take her for a walk and you might run into people walking their dogs or see some birds or squirrels!
Good luck!
Had a dream about going to college, but there was a weird aspect where my grades would go down if the professor showed up and saw that my house was dirty. I’d frantically began cleaning my bathtub then woke up.
That is a weird dream. Sometimes they do come out of nowhere.
I hope that your shoulder was a bit better today with icing and everything. It is good to move it a bit but it is hard to know how far to take it before it is going to hurt. My guess is that the shot is also wearing off.
You did a good job with your mom in not going too far into her issues. I left my parents yesterday and my cousins were also there today. They definitely got her out a bit more which is good. I am not sure that she will change her daily schedule of watching dad sleep despite our encouragement, but we will keep trying. We got her out to lunch lots of times and did a plant nursery with me and an inexpensive museum with them. So we will see.
It has been blazing hot here as well. Hopefully we will start to get some daily rain in the next few weeks so all the plants don't die. @integrityblues
I think the dream was another anxiety one.
My shoulder wasn’t amazing. It’s been almost a month since my steroid shot and it was supposed to last at least three so I could start physical therapy and that’s not happening yet. I’m going to have to make another appointment at Urgent Care and buy more ibuprofen when I get my check, I don’t care about the headaches.
I woke up sad when I remembered the anniversary of my father’s death is close. If my check doesn’t come the day before it (because I have to the candle sundown the night before the anniversary) I’ll just do it the next day.
I took a very long nap after morning meds then finally got out of bed this afternoon to cook chicken breasts, broccoli, and pasta. I’m full and have enough leftovers for lunch and dinner tomorrow. Before bed I’m going to set up my coffee maker to make exactly one cup.
I’m glad you guys were able to get your mom out and about. Museums are cool and so are plant nurseries.
I hope you get rain for your plants.
I am sorry that your dad's death anniversary hurt a bit. It is good to remember people but it is always a bit hard as well. I love the idea of a candle.
You did a good job in cooking the chicken and broccoli and making enough for a few days. I have a bit of a cold so I just heated up some tomato soup for dinner to have with a loaf of bread that I made previously that I had frozen.
I hope that your shoulder pain lets up a bit or you are able to start some PT soon. I am sure that is really frustrating for you.
Sending peace and strength.
I hope that your cold isn’t a big one. Tomato soup is full of vitamin c too, so it’s great to have while sick.
I woke up with a sore throat, got out of bed long enough to take medicine and swallow some honey, then went to sleep.
I reheated the last of the leftovers and might have some toast.
I’ve got six days till pay day and my dad’s anniversary. I’m going to get myself the kind of shoulder ice pack that I can wear while I’m trying to get things done and also a couple of yahrzeit candles.
I’m going to just call the Physical Therapy center at my hospital and ask them how appointments are looking since I’d been referred for over a month. It’s embarrassing how much I want it even though I know it’s going to hurt.
I dreamt that I was visiting my mom and I took her to a Starbucks near my college, but then I was just going to classes. There was something wrong with the classes and I kept worrying that I must have forgotten my schedule.
Then I was at a Barnes and Noble but it was now the size of a shopping mall and offered everything. There were winding lines everywhere, and I kept wandering around to see if I wanted anything. I started looking at all the cds and found that cd with one song I love but for the life of me can’t find anywhere because it’s from a cd that I dreamed up. I put it in my basket and got in line.
As I was in line we were passing a section for dentists. I stepped out of line curiously because I remembered I still need to fix my insurance (I’ve really got till the middle of June) but as I started talking to the dentist and examined the stainless steel dentist chair, there was a sudden scream as something that looked like a circular saw covered in blood rocketed into the air due to some technical mishap. It crashed back into the line and injured people so I stayed close to the dentist and agreed for him to work on my teeth.
At first I was okay, but there wasn’t any X-rays or proper exams- the guy was just crafting teeth out of stainless steel and asking if I thought one or the other would fit?
I got very frightened and left to go back in line, and then I woke up.