My 7 Cups Dream Journal
Entry 1: The Boxes of Cats
It was a little strange but what I remember most is visiting a house that was in my old neighborhood that I’d recently moved from (it really wasn’t, so dream logic) but I came back to collect something I left or my mother left.
It was very sad and the people who were there now were sort of okay with me wandering around and looking. I kept noticing the signs that I’d once lived there (painted over places that still revealed chipped paint and stuff I recognized from my apartment).
Then I looked beneath a couch or table and found boxes full of kittens. Two boxes were full of meowing kittens in water that the new home owners had no idea were there, and one more box held a very dead cat that was an older one from a previous litter. All of the kittens were starving without their mother and I knew that it was the reason why the older one passed.
The new owners suddenly smelled the dead cat and I took it upon myself to get rid of it. When I came back an hour later all of the kittens were gone, and when I was walking past another house I could see all the kittens. They’d all grown up into adult cats!
Oof. I made a mistake.
My older sister was asking me about our mom’s birthdate because she was going to try and get our mom’s inhalers from the CVS. We started talking and we came to the conclusion that the best way to get her refills would be to get her to see a doctor. My sister wasn’t sure what to do, so I called our mom to just ask her about her Dr or insurance again. My mom eventually answered but was very out of breath.
Our call wasn’t productive at all and I should have known better to even talk. My mom just got mad and said she was never going to any Dr or to the hospital and she referenced the last time she’d gone and was upset because they reportedly treated her badly after she admitted to doing meth.
I told her that I wasn’t here to do anything like go over her head, just that me and my older sister are worried over how bad her breathing has become and how she sleeps all the time. She said she’d call later and we hung up.
I relayed the information to my older sister. Then I texted my best friend because I needed to talk to someone about how I was feeling; mostly tired, upset, and concerned that my mom is content to let things end like this. Even though I know my friend is going to remind me that I can’t really do anything to change my mom’s mind on any of it.
We couldn’t because she’s spending time with her mom and sister, so maybe this evening or tomorrow.
Interesting the cats had to move too! Maybe it's a good sign that after they moved they were thriving. You just moved too you will thrive too!
It’s been so long since I had that dream! But yes,
I’d like to think of it being a positive outcome for me and for the dreamed up cats.
I had a pretty good day today. I got the crockpot ready before I left the house to get to my PT appointment.
PT was okay. I learned one more exercise to replace the shoulder abductions that have become a little too easy. I left and caught a bus to go to gamer’s group and shared some jerky I got at a gas station near my second bus stop, some that was inspired by Dr. Pepper? I took a piece then let the group members reach in it for jerky if they wanted. I only sanitized my hands a little bit, so I did good for exposure.
I got home eventually and rested between checking on my crockpot. I took out the rosemary chicken to shred and cool, then made a bag of yellow fingerling potatoes in chicken drippings in the crockpot. Those were nice and soft after three hours and I mashed them up with a little margarine to make a rustic looking side dish for the chicken.
I put some in Tupperware for myself so I’ve got stuff to make sandwiches for a couple days or have dinner with mashed potatoes. I took a nice helping of both and put it in a Tupperware to bring to my mom tomorrow.
I’m going there to see if I can confirm that my mom really has been approved or qualifies for a carer. I need to get in contact with her case worker to see if it could be arranged so I could apply to become her carer, even if it’s only one day a week. I already arrange her rent payment, make her orders for home repairs, and have come by to clean or run her errands. My mom says she’s lost her case worker’s number so I’m going to look at her papers and check.
I’m nervous about this because it’s as close to a job I’ve been able to get or qualify for. I could still be denied anyway (though it’s a slight chance) because of the background check. I’m not going to hang my hopes on it.
If I could, I’d like to get my mom on a plan so my assistance benefits her but doesn’t take away from her routines, especially if it’s something she wants to keep doing herself.
I’m going to get there early and leave in enough time so I can start my Friday evening early with a nice nap or something.
Going to keep things short due to my exhaustion, but it sounds like you are headed in a good direction. I hope you can get paid for helping your mom out.
That also might be an interesting mini career direction even if you aren't allowed to help your own relative. You have a bunch of experience with your mom and might be able to help other seniors just with paperwork, taking people to doctor appointments and small errands. It sounds like that is going to be a growing field and you might be able to manage your hours fairly well. @integrityblues
I hope you can get some real rest this weekend!
This could be an interesting thing- it would obviously be much better if I knew how to drive and had a license, but if I had to take my mom to an appointment I’d come along with her on the bus. It’s what I’d like to do when we learn when her first appointment is so she doesn’t miss it or talk herself out of it.
I couldn’t find the number I was looking for so I suggested my mom call the place her case worker actually appears and leave a message with her new phone number.
The biggest thing I helped with was looking at the expiration dates on her nebulizer medications- two boxes expired in May. The last one will be good till my birthday in 2 1/2 months.
That and fixing her ebt card problem by identifying which of the eight cards she had was still active, then changing the pin of that single card, and then escorting her on a block and a half bus ride to the nearby 7-11 so she could use her food stamps. She had quite a bit left since she hasn’t used her card in what has to have been months!
And once I was getting ready to leave I discovered that I’d started my dumb period. That I’d been feeling the pains of it but just thought my lower back was hurting from my mom’s backless chair.
I reported back to my aunts, my older sister, and my best friend once I was finally leaving several hours later than I intended. My sister talked to her about calling SCAN to get a courtesy refill of her inhalers that she hasn’t had in months, quitting smoking, and going to Urgent Care over the weekend. I told my mom to take her up on the offer of a ride there and back.
They’re going on Sunday. Tomorrow my mom is going to get the refills for her inhalers from her CVS, and I’m hoping that the inhalers help a little bit.
You really are doing lots of work for your mom which is great. Do make sure that you don't hurt your shoulder in the process.
I am continuing to see some job possibilities here. There are plenty of seniors especially who just need help with the paperwork end of things. It has really become a great deal and I know medicare is starting to consider paying for some forms of respite care. I am guessing that helping with paperwork might be something they would start to pay for.
My weekend was a little lighter though I was still working. We will see how I do tomorrow when the real teaching starts again. @integrityblues
My mom ended up not going to the Urgent Care. She could only get one of her inhalers from the CVS and briefly lost the emergency inhaler my older sister gave her.
I called to check on her this morning and she sounded okay but was upset over accidentally setting the input on her tv to HDMI. I tried to explain how she could fix it by checking the buttons one at a time on her remote, then suggested she ask a friend or neighbor for help, and finally offered to come by and do it myself when I had time as a last resort. She got very mad at me and said if I came all that way for this she’d not speak to me for a year. I told her how frustrating this was and her automatically saying she’d refuse to all to me over just my suggesting I come and help was enough to make me end the call as politely as I could and then go back to sleep.
I was so frustrated I couldn’t even meditate properly.
I let my mom be for a bit and only reached out again after my older sister said our mom got the tv working.
Ah, the dreaded tech stuff. My mom ends up in that hole all the time especially with remotes and phones. It is so hard because you know with a few buttons you could fix it. But then then feel stupid too. So they yell because they are embarrassed by their own stupidity. I wish tech companies would make things easier for seniors. I am glad she got things working.
I hope today was less stressful. I am back at the full scale week so I will keep things short. @integrityblues
You’ve got this bestVase!
I was so worn out from no modafinil over the weekend that I skipped Baking group. I’m hoping to go to gamers group this Thursday to make up for it- I also have to show up to give paperwork about my insurance. I’ll be getting a delivery on that day too but I’m betting that it’s going to arrive in the late afternoon.
If I learn it’s arriving sooner that day I’ll stick around so my Lysol disinfectant spray doesn’t get swiped off my stoop. I’ve got another package coming this weekend- it’s got toothbrush heads, toilet bowl cleaner, and pillow cases! The Lysol aerosol disinfectant was supposed to come with all of that.
I’ll get a little laundry done tomorrow while it’s cool. Pick up my trazodone and a fancy coffee, and prepare for Thursday.
I hope you stay cool and get your rest between all your tasks!
I hope that you are feeling more rested now and that everything you needed arrived. The gamer's group rather than both sounds just fine so you can rebuild your strength.
I had one day where I needed some teaching help but each day I think I am a little stronger. It is hard to tell when you are working 18 days straight. But tomorrow is day 18 and students finished registering for classes today. I still have lots to do this weekend but at least I won't have to be on campus. @integrityblues
It was too hot and I was too tired. The most I did was eat leftovers, lay down, and watch The Walking Dead.
Both packages arrived today so it was for the best I didn’t leave.
I’m glad things are going okay at work and that you don’t have to be on campus yet.
I hope that the weekend has given you some strength back.
Next week will be hectic again for me as the mini semester for first years ends and I get ready to start the new regular fall term, but it was nice to finally have a day off campus today. @integrityblues
Thanks bestVase. I’ve got a bit more strength now. For the last few days I’ve slept on my futon folded out as a true bed. I’m sleeping a bit better and my shoulder doesn’t hurt as much.
I think that, in addition to my scaled back pt exercises, is helping with the pain.
I’m glad that your day off was nice! Gives you a chance to recharge for the hectic week.
After my older sister informed me that she thinks she’s got Covid, I made some snickerdoodles that didn’t come out great.
I probably overmixed the dough and I’d ran out of sugar in the middle of the recipe and didn’t cut down the amount of flour to compensate, so it was bland and the cookies refused to flatten out. They’re like sort of soft golf balls covered in cinnamon?
After everything was finished and I sampled them I decided to not throw them out. I can freeze them and defrost them a couple at a time to have with hot cocoa or coffee.
The trouble is that my sister visited our mom yesterday on Saturday so she’s really worried that she could have spread the Covid to her. My sister is going to get the test done tomorrow and take our mom to urgent care if her test is positive.
I said a few Mi Sheberachs for my sister and told her to get all sorts of rest and have the biggest nicest mug of tea with lemon and honey. Her throat is so sore!
I called my mom to check on her. She’d gotten a call from my sister about the Covid so she was cleaning the house with Lysol wipes. I reminded her that it would be better to focus on cleaning common surfaces that everyone touches like door knobs, light switches, and so on, so she wouldn’t try to clean every inch of her one bedroom apartment.
I told her that when I’d come over next week I’ll bring my brand new mango hibiscus Lysol disinfectant spray. I’ll take measures to make sure I stay calm and collected- then once I’m home I can put my clothes into my hanging clothes dryer to sanitize them, use that spray on whatever else, then take a shower if I really want one.
I dreamt that I was waiting in line at a hospital that also had a waterpark connected to it. I was waiting in line to get treatment for my shoulder.
I was kind of ignored at the hospital so since it was so hot I made sure to stop at the section where people in the waterpark could go and take actual showers with like soap and water. I paid for my shower but when I entered the one I was given access to I found that it was still occupied.
I was really embarrassed and turned my back to give the people privacy but couldn’t leave because I knew that if I did the management would consider my shower completed whether I got to use the place or not. I waited patiently for them to finish and leave, the apologized and left the place a mess that should be cleaned up by the staff but I remembered I had my can of disinfectant so I did the best I could, stepped out for something and got yelled at by management for using the shower too long, and came back in to see another mess!
I struggled with showering, then someone entered the space just like I did before with the couple. I finished up as quickly as possible but had suck a hard time collecting my things that had gotten spread out around the shower room. I eventually left but had security following after me as I tried to make it to the exit and leave the place entirely to go home.
I woke up as I was being cornered by security and threatened with additional fees or whatever else. My shoulder was hurting more than usual because I’d rolled over in my sleep onto my bad shoulder.
I’m going to rest since I did all my stretches, the abbreviated pt exercises, and took my medicine and my shot. I’ve got a bit of time before I have to take a shower and prepare to take the trip to my baking group. I’m going to bring the paperwork I need to turn in at the same place, so I’ll make sure I’m early enough in case that takes longer than I anticipate or I have to speak to one of the people there.
Sorry about a rougher few days. I hope that your mom continues to test negative but I can imagine that it will probably be another few days on that front before things are certain.
It sounds like your dream had lots of those anxieties in it. But hopefully the anxieties stayed there rather than in your real life.
You are doing a good job with the shoulder and I hope the baking group goes well. I too rarely throw out food even when it doesn't turn out quite right. Last night I made a fish with a papaya and avocado salsa. It was a little sour due to the lime juice and the fact that the papaya wasn't quite right. We just started getting in papayas on our tree in the back (it grew by itself out of the compost bin) and I am having trouble telling when they are ripe enough to pick.
Today wasn't the best for me either. Three hours teaching, three hours of a meeting and then a few hours of constipation and bowel issues tonight. May tomorrow be easier on both of us. @integrityblues
My anxieties were increased by a call from my mom this morning as I was preparing for a shower. She told me about her friend who has been coming over for the last week or two, very sick, and sounding proud that he’s got Covid. He wasn’t wearing a mask, coughed and sneezed a lot, and I’m not entirely sure if this whole thing is because the guy believed that previously catching Covid has made him immune or if my mom isn’t remembering what happened completely. For now I’m taking it for fact to be safe.
Either way, in the middle waiting for my group to start my sister texted her results. She’s got Covid and strep. I called our mom and tried to tell her so she’d know to take precautions but she didn’t pick up. When she called me in the middle of preparing pizzas with the group, I stepped out into the hall and told her the news. She told me that the only thing she was experiencing was stomach troubles.
I had a lot on my mind while I was helping cook. The pizza was okay for a first try. My first piece was underdone, the crust was barely cooked but it was a center piece so it can happen if there’s too many toppings. The second piece I had from the other pizza was pretty good. I decided to get myself a large fancy coffee drink on my way home. I was overthinking the baking experience and how overly aware I was of every cough or mess or anything that could pass on germs, but I was at least able to talk myself out of taking another shower once I got home.
I called my mom again once I was home to see if she was okay. She revealed that she hasn’t done any of the cleaning my sister suggested after she suspected catching Covid. I told my mom that I wouldn’t come by on Wednesday. That we could work on her IHSS paperwork over the phone as I filled it out on the computer.
My older sister confirmed that her son tested negative but her daughter and husband were positive too. I told her I’d say more Mi Sheberachs. I just hope they don’t get strep too.
My sister said she’d get a test for our mom or take her to Urgent Care if she’s got symptoms.
The dish you made sounds really cool. I don’t know how to tell if papayas are ripe either but it’s so cool that the tree started growing from the compost!
I’m sorry your day wasn’t great. No one wants long work hours on top of an upset stomach. I hope you had a chance to use a heating pad, drink water or a warm beverage, and relax. Stress only makes that stuff worse, which blows and isn’t fair at all.
I am doing better tonight. Tomorrow the semester for first years will end. Then three days until the next one starts.
I hope that your mom continues to do okay regarding COVID and your sister is getting better. I found out this afternoon that I was just COVID exposed too. One of my students emailed about an hour after class saying that she had just tested positive. She was one of 11 students that gave a short presentation today. I wish she had said something before class and I would have sent her back to her dorm. We were never all that close to one another but she could have easily exposed other students in the room and we could have a wider issue. As I said, luckily tomorrow is the last day we see one another until Monday. But I am supposed to visit my parents on Friday. If I feel the least bit of anything I will postpone that visit.
I can understand your increased germ worry with the pizza making but you did an awesome job in not letting it overwhelm you. I hope that you have had a more restful day or two since then. @integrityblues
Thanks bestVase.
I’m sorry about the potential exposure from your student. I hope those three days are a good break before you’ve got to begin again.
I spoke with my mom today because I was helping her with her IHSS application. We didn’t get far but I found a hotline number for her to call and get pack to me about because there’s a lot of paperwork. She hasn’t called back at all so I took a long afternoon nap.
I dreamt that I was trying to give some of my rings to a family member? I only really recognized one that I own. It’s an oval white turquoise ring I got when I was 16. The other one was a plain band that I thought was important enough to include. From the overall tone, I think I was going to pass away.
Eh.
PT was fine. I learned some more exercises or we modified the easy ones. I learned how to do an easier pectoral stretch and some wall pushups where I don’t move my arms all to strengthen the muscles in my back and chest.
I went to gamer’s group but learned that the leader wasn’t coming for whatever reason- that he’d told the WOW worker to go ahead and hold it in the lobby. Someone else saw us there and let us into the room where we usually play. I confirmed with a member who wasn’t t present- he texted me back to say that he’d been contacted to say the meeting was canceled. I thanked him and went in to the main game room.
I’d already played a hand of Uno in the lobby, even touched all the cards when the WOW worker was having trouble shuffling the deck. I only sanitized my hands once. I made conversation and watched the clock since it was getting hot and I wanted to catch my bus in a reasonable time.
I made it home and rested. When it was time for me to cut my excess electricity use I turned off my fan and opened my windows instead. Once that was over at 8 I practiced my pt exercises then put on my shoulder ice pack.
I’m going to try and go to sleep early and wake up in time to throw my trash out before the garbage trucks come.
I have to make the call to this IHSS hotline I shared the number to with my mom, who said she’d do it. When I mentioned it today she tried to just back out of it so I made sure to tell her I was going to handle it. To just focus on shopping and resting.
I hope that today was okay.
It sounds like you did lots of good things in small doses. I hope all the stuff with your mom's paperwork works out okay but it sounds like she didn't get COVID at least.
Sorry that you have to cut your electricity with the heat. Even just a few hours isn't fun. I bet getting out with the gaming or baking groups at least gives you some air and allows you to turn off power back home.
I am okay. Long day going back and forth to my parents but I think it is okay. I have lots of schoolwork to handle tomorrow. @integrityblues
That’s good!
I hope that you have had a good few days with minimal stress. I am still on a bit of a roller coaster with my aging parents and starting the new regular semester tomorrow but I am really focused on the idea of one day at a time. @integrityblues
You’ve got this! Mini breaks help a bunch and there’s always the next day to complete what isn’t finished.
I’m experiencing my own issues with my mom- she’s back and forth over whether or not I can help even as I’m taking charge of her IHSS application. She mentioned that she feels bad but won’t say whether or not she has Covid symptoms or is just having bad COPD symptoms. I told her I’m asking my older sister for a Covid test on her behalf.
My sister read my texts about the situation and after speaking to our mom said she’d send her a test today and teach her how to use it.
I’m dealing with a huge fear over catching Covid now, but when I go to my mom again to help her out I’ll take extra precautions like extra masks or gloves. Plenty of handwashing or sanitizer.
I hope that your COVID fears start to lessen a bit. It isn't fun that it is around, but most likely your mom doesn't have it and the COPD is flaring. Ask her if she can smell things like her food.
My situation is not really good at the moment, but I keep trying. Dad is in the ICU at the moment after having a small heart attack. He will probably go home under hospice care. I feel horribly guilty because I can't visit with the start of the semester this week. I am visited last Friday before he took a bad turn and will try to visit again this Friday briefly when my sister flies in from the United Kingdom. I am calling daily and am in constant contact but it never feels like enough even when my parents tell me not to come. But I also have over 70 students this term and I am the only one who can teach them. With hurricane season coming and just recovering from eye surgery, I fear the fall. @integrityblues
I’m so sorry, that sounds so stressful and upsetting.
You’ll keep in touch and teach the students. Fingers crossed that the fall isn’t as horrific.
My visit with my mom was okay. I showed her how to use an app on my phone to use the laundry machines in her building since they no longer accept coins. I did a load of laundry with her, helped fold it, and finished her IHSS paperwork so she could sign it. I put it all together so it could be mailed out- my mom said she’d do it and I thought why not let if she wants to?
I mentioned it during my texts to my aunts and my sister and my friend when I was on the bus home. One aunt asked me if it was wise to let my mom drop it off, and I got really frustrated and texted back that I was 20 minutes into my 2 hour trip home and it wasn’t like I could change my mind. Then detailed everything I’d done to make sure that my mom wouldn’t fail to take a short bus ride to her local post office or mail box to send the completed IHSS forms.
She texted back that it was just a question and I swallowed my pride to apologize. That I was hit and tired and wrong to bite her head off. She never responded and I stayed awake too long worrying over making my aunt upset. It’s made even worse because I rely on her to pay my electric bill now…
I contacted my mom this morning to see how she was doing. She’d slept terribly, accidentally wet herself and her nightgown, and her COPD cough was bad. She at the time had no intention of mailing the letter, proving my aunts point. I ended up sending a “you’re right” text on the way to therapy and I was so depressed that when someone I knew from gamers group commented about how off I looked I sort of babbled about having a bad day yesterday and that I was glad I was seeing my therapist.
My therapist listened and advised me to try and not stop myself from thinking about it, but to acknowledge that I feel that way about what happened and then let it go. Just noticing the feeling of “oh my god she hasn’t answered me at all, why oh why didn’t I just say yes?”, acknowledging it, and letting it go.
She suggested that I pair the activity with physical movement, breathing exercises, and so on.
After therapy I called my mom to check on her- she said she’d taken a shower and a nap, and was getting ready to drop the letter off, that she’d call me once she was home again.
She did that and she did a good job. She’s going to try and call her new drs office tomorrow to make an appointment. I sent another text, this time to both aunts to say that she’d done it and was now resting. I didn’t get a reply so I’m choosing to believe that both are extremely busy after the holiday.
I’m going to wait till the 8th to try and ask if I’ve got her okay to use her payment info to pay my electric bill.
You didn't make any mistakes here. I also believe that your aunts are just busy and didn't text back. They would have no reason to be angry.
You also did okay in trying to give your mom the opportunity to mail it herself. She needs to have the triumph of handling little things even if you have to prod her several times to get things done.
You also didn't babble at the gamer's group. You let someone into your world. That is a great step to be making.
My world continues to be pretty nasty at the moment. I am totally exhausted and hopefully the weekend with my parents will go okay. I would like to get dad out of ICU and home to assisted living. @integrityblues
I’m sorry about all the exhaustion. Good luck with your weekend, your rest, and the visit with your parents.
Thanks bestVase…my anxiety gets pretty bad. Everyone is being pretty quiet. The only thing I mentioned today to the aunt I disagreed with was a hello and a question if I’m clear to start the electric bill payment this week. It’s due on the 9th so I’m trying to stay on top of things.
Today was the gamers group (Tuesday I was just waiting in the lobby for therapy) and I did fairly well. I’d brought an extra zero sugar soda and some wild berry sour gummy worms. I shared the candy with whomever wanted it and that soda with another woman there. The poor woman ended up having some gum pain so I suggested a salt water rinse, a cold compress, and finally gave her an Aleve to take the edge off till she could do either of the other suggestions.
I played one game of Uno and we all discussed what we’d be doing for baking group and the sort of potluck birthday party for like three or four people on Tuesday. I promised one of them that I’d bring a meatloaf like I made during baking group before since she’s been asking for it. I just have to remember to make a ketchup glaze instead of bbq.
The only problem at group was when one of the guys tried to make me accept a hug as we were entering the elevator. He wasn’t listening when I told him not to touch my bad shoulder but I got a really firm no out so he’d instead offered me a high five. I gladly gave him one and once we’re out of the elevator and had gone separate ways I could sanitize my hands thoroughly and wait for a bus.
I got in contact with my mom. She wasn’t doing well. She’d been taken to the store by her case worker to get a little food and some diapers and her breathing was just terrible.
She hadn’t called to make her appointment so after she said she’d take a nap I called the office to confirm some information about appointments and the office hours that I couldn’t find online at all. I eventually got back to my mom and told her she has to make an appointment but she might not be seen for two weeks. So I brought up the idea of Urgent Care since she doesn’t have a rescue inhaler now and is completely relying on her home nebulizer.
I’ll go to her after my sports medicine appointment is done and see what I can do.
You are helping a lot of people here. Make sure you take care of you too. I hope that your mom is feeling a little better. Breathing issues can be tough.
You did good in trying set up boundaries regarding the hug and your shoulder. Sometimes people just don't hear at first.
My own dad continues to be on the roller coaster. He is now doing to well for hospice and is headed to rehab instead. Hopefully that will happen in the next few days. But my sister and I have been with my parents this weekend. I am exhausted and am hoping for a more peaceful day tomorrow. @integrityblues
I hope that things continue to stabilize with your father. Get all the rest you can.
My sports medicine appointment went well. I have pretty good mobility and I’ve gotten a bit stronger. I got a steroid shot to help with my next pt appointments. After that I made a 2 hour trip to see my mom.
It wasn’t good. She has no emergency inhaler and I only realized she’d had a spare inhaler with at least 120 doses on it. I called on my older sister to help me talk sense to our mom about her symptoms getting worse. It took another talk from me after that to get her reschedule the appointment we’d made ten minutes before because her Scan transportation refused to schedule the ride for Monday because they won’t schedule over the weekend. We fixed it, she scheduled the transportation so we can both go to the dr. I’m going as support and a note taker.
So I’ll see her again on Wednesday.
I ended up sleeping all night and almost all morning, only getting up enough for a morning bathroom break and taking medicine. I officially got up at noon and then got to the store to pick up ingredients for meatloaf.
The best thing that happened yesterday was when my aunt responded to my electric bill text, saying it was okay. It opened up the conversation and I didn’t try and make it bad by asking why she didn’t answer before. I made polite text conversation and mentioned the one triumph with my mom.
Said pretty much the same to my other aunt and she was delighted by things for my shoulder getting easier and the meatloaf.
Now I just need to rest and prepare to clean tomorrow.
I too am delighted about the shoulder and the meatloaf. You are making solid efforts to move forward on lots of fronts, not just your mom.
I know it is nerve wracking with your mom and convincing her to do stuff. But you did indeed convince her and it is great that you are going to the appointment with her. That will help you to be really clear about what is going on and pushing her to take the right steps. But keep doing the resting stuff for you too.
My dad is now at the nursing home for rehab. We will see how it goes. He doesn't quite remember why he is there, but hopefully he will get comfortable quickly. @integrityblues
Oof, baking group was long but we made a pretty good Mexican pizza with chorizo and I took a slice of that home for dinner. I helped make a large banana bread and once it was in the oven we had the pizza and some brownies that were baked earlier that day.
We decided we’d make chili and cornbread next week.
I’m so tired, but I just need to attend the potluck at 11:30 a.m. give them my meatloaf, and enjoy myself a little bit. Then I’ll go home and rest up for Wednesday.
I’ll ask my mom what she wants from the store and pick it up for her once I’m in her neighborhood.
Well I hope today went well. I am sure that it was stressful at points. But you can come home to rest being proud of your efforts to care for your mom. @integrityblues
Today was very hard. I bought her as much food as I could comfortably carry and she paid me back for almost all of it. She still owes me like 18 bucks but I know we’ll cover it later.
We discussed her appointment and stuff, and then eventually left. At least the appointment happened; my only goal was for her to get her prescriptions and talk to the dr. She refused a physical because she doesn’t like to be touched, at all. The dr at least got to listen to her lungs and ordered a chest X-ray that I’ll help her go to once I’m less tired and free.
She’s got her refills coming in and some new ones too. A steroid for what’s probably happening in her lungs, a higher dosage of her once a day inhaler, and a pill for her coughing. She was also advised to only puff not inhale if she has to have a cigarette. To treat it like a cigar and reduce the amount of smoke that goes into her lungs.
Now I’m on my way home late since it all took forever. But I’m glad she’s going to get her medicine soon.
The potluck yesterday was okay. No one tried my meatloaf because we had so much pizza, but one of the guys said he’d try it today. I left a note on it so whomever knows to put it in the freezer after today or tomorrow so it isn’t wasted.
I am going to keep things brief tonight and just let you know that your message has been seen and that I care.
We are trying to figure out now if my dad is ready for hospice care. @integrityblues
I understand. Focus on your dad, please
Thank you. We are going to try to figure out next steps tomorrow. I am praying the meeting goes well because my sister isn't completely on board. @integrityblues
I know you mentioned before that you were trying to get your father in-home hospice care. I hope that your meeting goes smoothly and that your sister doesn’t make it more troublesome (whether she intends to or not).
In the end, she’s got to remember that it’s not about her, it’s about your dad and keeping him comfortable.
Good luck. Remember to take time for yourself. Decompress, get hugs from your husband, or sit down with your cats. Cats are always awesome.
I’m going to see my mom tomorrow to help with making appointments, maybe do a load of laundry, and shop for her at her CVS.
Thanks. He was able to return to his assisted living facility today under hospice care. I think both he and my mom are pretty exhausted at this point (actually we all are). My sister is learning to accept things I think but we will see how she handles it when she actually sees him this weekend (she lives in London).
I however am trying to take a step back so I can get some rest. I am up to weekly therapy appointments due to the stress. Hopefully things will now be easier since there is no more hospital involved.
Good luck with your mom. @integrityblues
I’m so glad to hear that he’s returned to assisted living under hospice care. He’ll be comfortable and cared for. I hope that your sister handles it well this weekend and that you get a little of the distance you need.
Please get hugs, watch movies or read good books, and pet the cats.
Ugh, it’s the next day after me having to run around with my mom yesterday she decided to argue with me about sending her Bayer Aspirin or taking things to her since after the mess of last night. She’d gone to the laundromat after dark, got scared and too tired, and had to call her apartment manager to ask for an escort home. Then after she got out of the shower she slipped and fell on her back.
She’s got feet covered in blisters, a hurt back, and finally found her last two Bayer aspirins this evening. I told her to ask for aspirin from my older sister, then texted my older sister about it just in case my mom tries to lie and make herself suffer for no reason.
I made sure to complete my Medi-Cal redetermination paperwork today so I’m ready.
I am going to try to spend a little time this weekend slowing down where I can. Hopefully my mom and sister get along. Mom can't wait for Dad to pass because she is so tired and Kim can't imagine that he will die because she isn't ready. But I think he is probably pretty bed bound at this point and my sister will be shocked when she sees him tomorrow. Again, I am glad that I will not be there.
Sorry for all of your troubles with your mom. Hopefully she calms down soon and is in less pain. I totally get your frustration because it mirrors my own with my parents on many days.
Glad that other things are lining up okay. @integrityblues
Thanks.
I get it. Spend some time on you and trust that your sister will see the situation for what it is, not what she hopes it could be.
I’m taking my mom to Urgent Care tomorrow morning. She’s in pain still despite the Tylenol my sister sent and she’s very nauseous too.
I’m tired because I didn’t get a refill of my stupid modafinil and probably won’t till my next neurologist appointment that I still don’t have a date for. I took a long nap this morning to even my energy levels and fatigue out. I’ll get myself a big fancy coffee with espresso tomorrow morning before I hit Mom’s place to escort her on the bus.
Continuing down below beyond the message that I somehow missed before. @integrityblues
It took me almost all day, but I managed to get my mom to her X-ray, took her back towards home to hit her local CVS for important stuff like diapers and other stuff not covered by her food stamps, then returned with her so I could carry it home. We used the bus system!
The day was very long, but I finally got the X-ray report while my bus was stuck in traffic.
My mom’s COPD is stable! There was also a note about the torsion of her calcified aorta, but I looked it up and the torsion isn’t uncommon for a woman of her age who smokes.
I’m hoping that this will lead to tiny positive changes like actually taking the cholesterol and blood pressure medicines prescribed to her but that’s going to be up to her.
I hope that things went smoothly for you today, bestVase.
I hope that the urgent care visit for your mom went well and you were able to find another source for that medication for you. Are you able to call the doctor for an emergency refill?
It has been good to be here this weekend. My sister has been moving a bit like a whirlwind and I am glad to not be part of that energy wave. But I think she is coming to accept Dad's decline because she can see it. I will probably visit next weekend. It is all very much one day at a time.
I’m glad that hanging back and recharging is helping you out. It’s good to let others take things on since the weight of the responsibility is pretty tough to handle. If she’d tried realizes the decline you won’t have the conflict of her disbelief and things will proceed. Maybe not easily considering the situation, but without additional barriers or roadblocks. One day at a time is the way to go.
I had a whole message yesterday that wouldn’t post. My mom is okay. The urgent care told me to take her to the local er because the X-ray wasn’t working and if my mom was nauseous and in pain they’d rather the er look at her.
So I escorted her on another couple of buses to get there and we learned after her X-rays that she’s got no breaks or fractures. She’s just very sore and dealing with the effects of old age and degeneration in her back and spine. The scans showed some bone spurs there too, but she was given instructions to continue icing and taking Tylenol/Ibuprofen.
She was in high spirits and I got her a nice ice coffee and a cheese danish so she could make it through the rest of the afternoon. We happened to find my younger sister sleeping on the corner in front of my mom’s building. She’d brought her dog too so thankfully before she’d slept she’d wrapped his leash around her arm to keep him close: he’d tried to run to us as soon as he saw us crossing the street.
We got them inside and the first thing I noticed was this massive growth on the back of her hand that I was convinced was a nasty infection she’d poorly covered up with a bandage. All of my fears about germs were on high alert and I had to keep sanitizing my hands since she was touching everything around the apartment. I calmed down by sitting down and petting the dog who usually remembers he likes me after he’s done barking at me for the first ten minutes. Like, oh it’s you! You give me pets and attention for nothing at all? Great!
The whole surprise visit made it so I was stuck there a good hour and a half longer than I wanted. When she left I finally got to put in the order for delivery from the local Vons so my mom could have toilet paper, zero sugar soda, and instant oatmeal.
When I finally got home it was as 8 p.m. and so had to take everything my sister could have touched off after I closed my front door and disinfect it with spray. I ate my dinner and then took a very hot shower. I got my dumb period the second I got home though I could feel it approaching before I left my mom’s.
Once I woke up again this morning I decided to grade what could have been my sister’s infected bug bite to a bad ganglion cyst. If she’d tried to pop it herself or didn’t clean it she could have infected the skin there too… I told her three times before she left yesterday to see a dr about it as soon as possible.
I don’t think I can get an emergency refill just yet. I’m going to ask my pharmacist about it or press the people who can inform us about drs appointments or make them confirm whether or not I was scheduled at all.
I’ve been taking naps to ease the fatigue and having more caffeine. I’m going to try out some energy drinks to get a little caffeine in without forcing myself to drink more coffee than is good for me. It kills my acid reflux to overdue it on coffee. There was a small sale so I got a couple different flavors to see what they’re like without breaking the bank. The real answer is about energy conversation.
I’m going to try one tomorrow to see if I like it.
It sounds like you definitely deserve a day of rest after all of that. I am glad that you were able to get your mom to the ER for x-rays. Not only is it good that they found nothing broken but they also have a nice image of your mom's bones as she ages. That may be helpful later on.
I am sorry about your sister and the mess that she made of your plans. Hopefully she got some help with that infection. You did a good job in not overreacting.
I am doing okay. My sister has returned home and now my dad is doing even less in terms of watching shows or eating. We will see how things go over the next few days. She is trying to return in two weeks with her family. I am not sure that my dad will survive that long. @integrityblues
I’m glad you’re doing okay. I’m glad your sister got the chance to see your dad too. It’s so hard to watch them slowly fade, but the hospice care will keep him comfortable.
I went to my mom today to address her problem with the tv- she’d accidentally pressed a button that prevented her from watching her shows. I looked at it and it seemed it was stuck on Apple TV (which she doesn’t have the app for) and she wasn’t sure how to fix it. She got no sleep last night so was very out of it.
I also got her pulmonologist appointment set for October 20th.
I made her some instant oatmeal and a coffee, got her ice packs for her sore tailbone and back, and made her take a Tylenol.
I did a few dishes. But she didn’t want me to do laundry or go shopping. I left just before noon for once, and before I left I made sure to take pictures of her recent IHSS letter that has her case number, social worker information, and the address we’ll send the firms filled out and signed by her Dr.
Now I’m getting ready for Tuesday’s dental appointment. I’ll present them with my new dental insurance and get there early so I can fill out forms.
I also contacted my hospital to ask after an appointment that I haven’t seen scheduled since after my neurologist appointment in March. They sent a message to my clinic and I’m waiting on a reply.
The energy drink I had today was pretty good. It didn’t have that energy drink aftertaste and was flavored like peach.
Sorry that I missed a few days. I needed a day off of doing anything. Nothing has really changed but it is all pretty wearing on me.
It sounds like you did some good work with both your mom and yourself. I hope that the rest of your week has been peaceful and that you haven't had to go over to your mom's too often. @integrityblues
That’s okay. I’m glad you took some more time to rest!
My dental appointment was okay. The only problem was my insurance was mistakenly assigned for child dental care so I had to get on the phone right there and fix it with the receptionist’s assistance.
The good news is that my teeth are cavity free and I’m cleared for not getting my wisdom teeth out at this time. The dentist did a comparison between this week’s X-ray and last years. The teeth aren’t moving so it’s okay for even the erupted one to stay but because I asked what it would cost billing came in to tell me the cost for two removals. Since it’s going to cost 400 I’m not doing it. I got the free cleaning and the one doing the scraping said I was doing a fair job keeping my back teeth clean, and that made me feel better.
I also finally got my neurology appointment after I called the appointment center since it’s been months and I’ve not received the notices or texts. An appointment was scheduled this week for November 25th. It’s annoying but I should have enough MS medicine to make it. When I go there I’ll make it a point to open the conversation about just quitting my modafinil.
I went to my mom today because it took her an hour to go to the corner store to pick up milk this week. Her sore tailbone and back haven’t been responding to rest ice and Tylenol, so I brought her a bottle of Aleve in case the pain is from inflammation. If she doesn’t have some relief after she takes it for a bit then I’ll suggest going to the Urgent Care at her local hospital.
I took her ebt card and shopping cart to do a good bit of shopping then dragged it all back, helped her put it away, and took a break to rest and ice the shoulder and arm I used to pull the cart to spare my other arm from the strain. When I was resting I made sure to show my mom the newest pictures of my aunt’s and my friend’s cat. I showed her a cute video I downloaded from Reddit of a cute puppy cocking its head in confusion over its reflection in a puddle.
I left for home at a reasonable time and will get plenty of rest this weekend.
I’m going back on the first to help with the laundry.
It is so good to hear about the successful dental appointment. I know that had been troubling you. And it is great that you got a neurology appointment though I agree with how frustrating it is to wait that long. Things should be easier.
You are doing good stuff with your mom but do wait until the 1st to go back. You don't want to reinjure yourself and not be able to help her. You have things lined up well.
I did see my dad yesterday. I was pretty sure it was for the last time. He really wasn't there much at all. I expected to awaken to a call this morning that he had passed. But then he rallied instead. I am very tired of the roller coaster. @integrityblues
I’m so sorry this is happening. The roller coaster feeling and waiting for news is awful. I hope you get a little sleep to prepare for the upcoming week.
Thank you. The roller coaster continues. Found out yesterday that I will also probably be needing some exploratory gynecological surgery in the next few months too. I am very, very tired. @integrityblues
I’m so sorry.
It’s been a hard couple of days. My mom first woke up to look out the window a few nights ago and said she saw tree people (like the ones from the Lord of the Rings) with torches and wanted to burn her. Then when I came home yesterday after doing laundry with her, she’d gotten up and started looking for me (possibly having mixed up my call from my city to tell her I was home already and waking up from a short nap). She even went outside to look and call for me- it finally took her going back inside to eat a bowl of cereal and remember she could call me.
That was last night. I’d sent one of my update emails to my DOR counselor to say what I was up to. She’d asked me if I would be ready to meet with a new job developer by the 15th, that I’d have to continue job searching to receive travel funds, and so on.
So I agreed, electronically signed the consent form, and now I’m only waiting to see how long it will take.
I hope that hat things are okay bestVase.
Things are pretty much unchanged in terms of my dad. I am pretty tired.
But I am very sorry to hear about your mom. It does sound like she is really struggling and I know that is rough on you. And the job search stuff adds to the stress.
But we can both only take it a day at a time, right? We just continue supporting one another. It will get better eventually. @integrityblues
Aw, tired sucks. I hope you can get a little more rest.
I’m trying to rest too. I’ve been checking in on my mom with phone calls. She’s okay, just tired after all the walking and standing we did. She mentioned needing groceries so I told her to just do it in the morning. I don’t have the energy to rush over for a grocery trip she said she didn’t need the day before. I’ve got to trust her to get it done herself.
I’m just preparing for a therapy appointment in 4 days, my last PT appointment on the 10th. I’ll also call on Monday to see if my baking group will be meeting.
I missed a step on the stairs from my stoop and slipped down the stairs this morning. I landed on and scraped my left knee, almost twisted my right ankle, and had a scrape from the steps against the back of my right forearm. I had to lever myself up and off the ground on my knees with my hands. I must have gained more strength in my arms and shoulders because I managed to do it without immediately hurting my bad shoulder.
Some neighbors saw me fall and asked if I needed help but I thanked them and pulled myself back into my apartment to treat the wounds.
I called my friend and conferred with her about how to treat myself. Sat on the edge of my tub to use the rubbing alcohol to clean my knee and elbow, then used Neosporin, and shuffled into my living room for the sterile gauze. Because I have no surgical tape my friend told me I could loosely wind the gauze around my knee and tie it so it could stay on.
This whole thing has interfered with my plan to see my mom this week and go shopping (we’d tried using the Vons app this morning but the thing wouldn’t allow me to put in her order for delivery).
That and it just hurts so I’m annoyed
My neighbor offered some surgical tape for my gauze. Then I went to the store for peroxide- one aunt I’d texted with a request for first aid supplies this morning had been at work so she’d not noticed it. That was okay, I got it myself along with ice cream.
I’ve got a weekend full of rest now.
So sorry to hear about the fall. I am glad that the wounds seem surface rather than muscle pulls, etc. Those take longer to heal from. It is good that you were able to go slow this weekend to try to heal. You will figure out the situation with your mom's groceries. Sometimes you do have to trust that they can handle it. Sending lots of healing hugs.
Things are pretty much the same with me, but it is a little more restful being here than with my parents. I will do that next weekend. My sister is there with her family from London this weekend. I think things have gone overall okay except my mom sat on my dad's hand by mistake and it is a little swollen. Hopefully it doesn't bother him too much. @integrityblues
