My Life Just Sucks

Hey guys,

I never though i'd ever use such a forum but guess not. My parents are very strict, I can't do basically anything. Electronics are only for school work then only weekends for an hour. Snack is fruit or some small amount of snack food like 5 ritz crackers. If I do try and do school work I must sit next to them and have them watch over me, otherwise if I do anything else it's "cheating"

I just don't think my dad loves me or likes me at all. I mean occasionally, he'll be nice and let me do stuff but as soon as I mess up one small thing like forgetting to put the dishes away into the cabinet or forgetting to clean the sinktop of my bathroom I get in trouble. Additionally, he's always calling me names about how I'm useless and I won't amount to anything in the real world. I mean he's nice when he's nice but I just can't handle the mental abuse anymore. That's not even it, it's constant, I start arguing with my sister, he yells at me. Often times he always cancels things as well, I wasn't able to go to my 9th grade HOCO or Busch Gardens with my friends on many occasionans just because of him. On the occasion I do something that is against their rules like chatting with a friend on my laptop(remember I can't ever chat with them) then I get yelled at for "cheating" then if I argue about how other kids can do it and I can't I generally get thrashed. Yup, thrashed with a belt over and over again until I stop crying or stop aruging back. We don't have normal debates in our house. Dad's always right, even when he's wrong. What drove me over the edge was today: My parent's had been nice lately, I've been trying really hard to be responsible and all that so my parents gave me my phone and let me use the monitor downstairs(to complete school work OFC) because of virtual learning. So I was, I was doing virtual learning and I opened up Discord on my phone so I can call a friend to work on school work, this is allowed recently. My dad walks in as I'm switching to take a photo of my screen and blames me for "cheating" he doesn't know what I did but says I cheated. I argue and yes I'm a crybaby, so I start crying because I didn't do anything, he kicks me out of the monitor room and takes my phone. I continue to cry and complain I didn't do anything and he starts canceling things. I should have gotten the idea by now that I should stop talking but I was determined to prove I was doing this right. My dad brings out the belt, I try to reason with him and he starts beating the absolute shit out of me everytime I speak up. I never get the idea and no matter what try to reason with him and he continues to say that he's right. He references that because in the past I had "cheated" in their eyes, then I HAVE to have done it now too. He continues to beat me until I fall to the ground crying and gasping for air but my dumb butt continues to talk and reason and try and make my point across. My dad then basically cancels everything, from the sneaker business I've been trying to start lately, to XBOX, to making breakfast for me. He said that we are "done" and he will never acknowledge me ever again. My mom at this point has stopped watching me get beat and has started crying. So, the mental and physical abuse has finally gotten to me.

Also on the outside I'm a generic athlete type kid, I play sports, I have good grades, I go to a good school, I have lots of friends etc. etc.