My friend said…
My supposed best friend said to my face and in front of another person that she doesn't care that I've been wanting to kill myself for the past few weeks and that no one else should really care either. It's just awful bc I feel like I don't matter anymore and no one actually likes me. It's even worse because she always claims I'm her #1 best friend, but she always treats me like shit and idk what to do. She claims to love me so much, but she still says stuff like that. I just want to die and I can't stop thinking of what she said.
@princess11puppycat I'm so sorry that your friend said such a horrible and unfair comment to you. How long have you been feeling like you want to kill yourself? Did something happen to trigger these thoughts? If you think that you may act upon these thoughts, please tell a parent or a guardian. Or if you would like, please contact 1-800-273-8255 or www.suicide.org
If it matters, I care about you and I hope you don't hurt yourself. 
@KindListening it's for as long as I can remember really. Since I was 12 so for all of my teenage years so far. Now it's less consistent and more happens every now and then in really strong hits. I just really don't have anything I look forward to. And school is especially awful for me right now. I also feel like everyone is annoyed by me and doesn't really like me.
I don't know if I'd act upon it as I've attempted so many times in the past, but I have left a suicide message on my tumblr explaining how if I suddenly disappeared it wouldn't be of any surprise. I struggle a lot with depression and I've gotten better with my mood disorder, but dealing with depression is definitley by far the hardest for me.
@princess11puppycat
it's for as long as I can remember really. Since I was 12 so for all of my teenage years so far. Now it's less consistent and more happens every now and then in really strong hits. I just really don't have anything I look forward to. And school is especially awful for me right now. I also feel like everyone is annoyed by me and doesn't really like me.
I don't know if I'd act upon it as I've attempted so many times in the past, but I have left a suicide message on my tumblr explaining how if I suddenly disappeared it wouldn't be of any surprise. I struggle a lot with depression and I've gotten better with my mood disorder, but dealing with depression is definitley by far the hardest for me.
It sounds like you've had a pretty rough time dealing with these feelings. I know dealing with school can be very difficult, when I was in High School, I always disliked it! Why do you feel like everyone is annoyed at you? Do you like anything about school or do you struggle with trying to stay positive there? I know it can be difficult to keep a positive outlook, for me the only escape I had sometimes was the knowledge that I would graduate eventually.
Have you tried looking at our self-help guides? I would encourage you to take a look at our depression section, it may help you to figure out some coping techniques https://www.7cups.com/depression-help-online/
Would you like to talk to someone 1-1? I would love to be a listener for you but I only speak with people who are 18+. I may change that soon but there are a bunch of lovely listeners here that speak to teens that maybe you would enjoy having a friendship with. Do you think an online support system may help you confront some of these negative thoughts?
@KindListening my hardest thing is school right now. I can't think positively and there's nothing I look forward to in school. I don't mind being in that building for after school activities, but whenever I step into that school between the times of 7-2, it's gruesome hell for me. I just don't know what I can look forward to.
I just maybe want to hear what other adults have done during times of struggle in high school when school was their most dreaded thing. How did you all survive through? What kept you positive? What was your light at the end of the tunnel?
@princess11puppycat
What do you find the most issues with at that period from 7-2? Do you find it difficult academically or socially? Is there anything that you do look forward to, at that time? I could give you a personal experience of what kept me positive, but it may not be the same for you or helpful. What I will say is, it's alright to dream of a day when you will no longer be in school.
What types of things do you think that you would enjoy doing after you graduate? Do you have a particular career interest in mind? I know some schools provide classes that train you for certain jobs (I took one on Health Information Management), I ended up taking the course from a different school during my senior year. I was normally a student who got average to low grades. When I took that one course I ended up receiving high honors that entire year. Do you think having your school counselor assist you with setting up classes that you may take an interest to help?
I know it's hard and it seems impossible to be happy right now but please remember, storms never last. You will get through this! Good luck!
@princess11puppycat I used to have several "best friends" like that through the years. I am almost 31 now and my best friend is my husband. I know you are young and don't understand right now - you want to have fun and share stories w/your friends about the guy you like, go shopping, go to concerts, and pass notes in the classroom, but that will not last forever. Also, it is not worth committing suicide over. Killing yourself over someone who probably is just your friend b/c it compliments their status in school is just not worth it. You have to take a long hard look at yourself in the mirror and think about what is most important to YOU. What really matters and effects YOUR life. Friends are fun, but they are not there always when we really need help. Family, no matter how dysfunctional they are, is the one's you can count on. I have a very mean mother, but in my worst of times at a teen and young adult, she was the only person, besides my grandma, that I could call for help. Not my "best friends" .. they were too busy. Please. I am sharing this lecture w/you b/c I care about you. I have no children yet, so I have to lecture you as though you were my own daughter and no way in hell would I want you to kill yourself over some friend. You are worth by far more than that. You have so many opportunities that you can do w/your life and losing it over a friend I will not allow!
@TransAm85 well I would never kill myself over her. She's truthfully kind of stupid and my whole friend group has been trying to cut her off since she's awful to all of us. It's just the very thought that "I don't care and no one else should". Like it's just the impact of actually hearing that vs thinking that for a long time is what really hit me hard. I would never kill myself over someone. Boys aren't worth shit and neither are girls. We don't live for people, we live for ourselves. But no doubt, does it get lonely when you hear "no one should care about you." I guess hearing that at such a bad time in my life is what impacted me and alarmed me so much.
