My heart is broken and it can't be fixed.
After 7 years of friendship, my best friend decided that I was no longer an important part of her life, she got tired of me, my depression and my problems, now my heart is broken and I don't know how to fix it. I'm considering suicide as an alternative because everything I'm feeling is so strong and so difficult to handle... any advice on how to get over her? Please don't tell me things like: "you need to keep yourself busy, or find a new friend" that doesn't help at all.
@HopeSolo I was really touched by your post because I've suffered a broken heart. Even though it's beyond painful and beyond words of consolation try to take it 1 step, 1 hour, 1 day at a time. Only time can heal even though it feels like time stands still when you have a traumatic experience. Try not to suffer alone and let your family support system hold your hand on this journey to healing. I know it seems impossible to imagine life without your friend and 7 years is a long time. I hope you both will have forgiveness and reconciliation. Be patient with yourself and cry if you need to cry because tears help heal a broken heart. If I overcame that obstacle along with all the millions of people that have suffered a broken heart... You can do it too!
@CaringJoy I have no one in my life that can support me... and no, I don't think I will heal.
I'm trying to right my wrongs but it just seems hard. I made tons of mistakes. I lied. I betrayed someone who loves me. It hurts me because now I realize what I've done. I'm not the type of person to hurt others, but maybe I have soul searching to do.
@undefined16 Why on earth are you writing this on my post?
About 8 years ago, my best friend decided to leave me too. We were growing up and she decided she was done w/the partying and bar hopping, and I had found a place to move, but apparently it wasn't in a neighborhood she would go .. hey, I was on a budget! But if she was truly my best friend, she would have come to visit me, regardless how crappy the area was! We just went our own ways. It hurt my feelings a lot, but nothing to commit suicide over! I knew her since I was in middle school. We have been through a lot of crap together, fun, happy, sad, stupid .. everything! She decided she was too good for me .. that's her loss. You have to be strong. You have to worry about yourself. Friends usually come and go through a person's lifetime anyway. Hopefully one day you will find your life partner one day and have your own family. Worry more about that. And your career. And school. And your health. A friend is to a friend like a beer is to an alcoholic. You suck all you can out of them until you've had enough and need to find either a new addiction, or go to rehab. There are far and few genuine friends. You will find your genuine friend one day and get married and have a family. But right now, worry about YOU. Believe me, suicide is just for weak people. Be strong and move on.
@TransAm85 I'm sorry, I don't think suicide is for weak people, it takes a lot of determination and courage to do something like that. You're right, friends come and go, I get it, and maybe to you a friend is not worth dying for but it is for me, I love her and without even thinking about it I could give my life for her.
@HopeSolo So you've put a lot of thought into suicide? That's completely irrational. Over a friend who just decided to kick you in the ass and say goodbye? That is utterly stupid and just dumb. How old are you? Don't you have some goals and dreams for yourself? Nothing that revolves around this friend? It hurts a lot I understand, but now you have time to just worry about yourself. I remember when I was always w/Stephanie, a lot of things revolved around her and what she wanted to do and what she liked. I even changed some things about myself b/c of her. Stephanie was a more hipster girl that listens to AFI and Smashing Pumpkins shit and wears Vans and DC's. Myself, I like rap/hip hop and wear Jordan's. But I changed some things .. I switched to wearing American Eagle and Abercrombie instead of "urban" brands b/c she'd make comments sometimes .. I got sick of it. Now, I can wear American Eagle and Jordan's w/o criticism.
@TransAm85 yeah, I'm an extremely stupid and dumb 29 year old woman.... sorry....
@HopeSolo Don't say that. You're just a year younger than me, so you know wtf I'm talking about then. Friends from high school fade away too .. sure you can say hi on Facebook, but people got their own life .. Now this friend of yours just acted like Stephanie who was my friend from high school. You will be alright. You have a job I'm assuming that you have to worry about .. Idk if you have kids .. You have your family. I mean .. c'mon. All I know is, this friend of yours has lost a true friend and someday they will realize it and feel like crap. But you're not stupid.
@TransAm85 I do have a job and family but to be honest I couldn't care less about that, I love my friend and I want her back, if that means that I'm stupid, so be it....
@HopeSolo
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I think most adults here completely understand losing a true love, or best friend. I also think most recognize codependency. In short it is when we are so wrapped up in another person that we lose our own individuality. It is not healthy for either person involved. I would suggest that you consider the pain you currently feel and multiply it a thousand times over. That is what suicide causes for everyone who ever cared about a person who commits it. Instead of taking or 'giving' your life for this person how about living your life the best way you can by being the best you your former friend had ever known. It's no guarantee they will ever come back but you won't be guilty of causing everyone in your life to suffer because of the actions of one. Of course there are the cliche words of wisdom like every beginning starts from a former beginnings end. Or if you love something set it free, if it comes back it is yours for ever if it doesn't come back it was never yours to begin with.
Hope you strike me as an intelligent individual or you wouldn't have reached out to begin with. Now that you have reached out accept that the people here who take time to respond to you do genuinely care about your well being. It is up to you to choose to accept the advice and the fact that we know you will be missed. We already know your life matters more than you want to admit at this point in time.
@Geodc I've heard that so many times from so many different people. I'm still alive and no one cares so, what's the big deal? I don't go to therapy because I don't believe in it, and I started talking here because I'm bored and I have no one else to talk. My life doesn't matter..
@HopeSolo Why don't you believe in therapy?
@awwdang I don't think it works
I am for the first time in years trying to love me n create me again.