My kitten died a week ago.

Our oldest cat, who has been a stress since the day we got him, attacked her and she had a seizure. We rushed her to the ER, were there for 5 hours, but ultimately she died. I did not give my oldest cat away, as I understand these things happen and it doesn't mean he is a horrible animal. However, I've experienced a lot of depression since the event. The kitten's younger brother is still here with us and he is a boy, so he naturally is biting, clawing, and destroying things. He's doing what little boys do. The kitten we lost was the sweetest, most angelic cuddle bunny imaginable. With two boys in the house, the contrast is so evident. I have so much guilt and anxiety/sadness built up about how everything happened. Seeing her little body seize and knowing had I watched her that one second I turned around that maybe her fate would have been different.

We had her cremated and we got her ashes back today. We cried for a bit, but we realized she was in the wrong urn and that the company had misunderstood our order. So now we have to transfer her ashes and all of this is beginning to feel overwhelming and like too much for me.