My shitty life
My life is as any life is shit full of depressing thing. For starters I'm 20 years old and I live with my 8-members family which not a bad thing but I think it is limiting me as I can't get the freedom to do what I want and I feel like if I really do one of my own things I won't like their responses. However, I still live with them I that won't change any time soon as I am studying at college which is verrrry hard , annoying and depressing thing cause it just 2 hours from my family house and I can't get enough money from my parents to rent my own near-university apartment and they won't even let me work to earn money to do that , don't get me wrong my family are not monsters the society is. And because I live 2 hours far from my university and before that from my school I don't really have friends to live near me the closest friend is an hour away from me with a car which not convenient at all , so I had hard time making friends cause I mean to want to be friend with someone he only sees once a week outside school or university. My house location , my family and my financial status all of these are few causes why I feel depressed about life . Will actually there is a solution for my house location and my friends issue which is to buy a car but the tthing is for the last two years and potentially for the next three our financial status won't get better at all .
Moving on to my emotional life which is way below bad and actually there are many reasons for that beginning with the shitty culture that I live in to the shitty friends that I have to my residence problems to my financial problem and to the most important one which is my lack of confidence and this alone has many reasons i think I'm ugly and demanding a lot . Actually every time I have a chance to talk to any girl I would blow it and deeo down I think it's on purpose cause I'm just to scared if this thing actually happens and every girl that tries to make a contact with me I just find 1000 reasons to not think of making a relationship with her . the problem is not that I'm single the problem is that I'm not trying to make any change in this even though I would like to know how having a relationship feels like . the other important thing is that my best friend who I always thought that he was just like me is having a progress is his life , I mean he had a previous relationship and now he is with touch with over 20 girls and this number is increasing every day , not just that but also he has now the choice to have a car or not . Even though he chose no to have a car , which makes me feel a little bit better , but still having the choice is much much better than not . Returning to my friends issue ,due to my bad house location I had many different friends over the past 11 years but those who stock were two groups - both of them are Males only 💔- the first one consists of two nice...
Friends who study with me in university and another one who studies another speciality in the same university and a fourth who study in another university and finally my bestie. The thing about the first group is that I spend most my time with them but I don't really think I fit between them I mean they are really nice and all but I feel like they are nicer than I like .however the other group is somehow the opposite they are nice but cool in the same time but i I don't really spend any real time with them even though two of them are with me in the same college but I feel like these two are the least of them to like me . The catch here is that my bestie is with me in both groups but unlike me he is studying a speciality where he is alone which makes it easier for him to choose to to be with . A plus for him for being alone in his speciality is that he can make new friends easier with both genders as he don't have two or four friends to disallow you from making friends .