My story
I have been struggling with depression all my life. I grew up with a mom who was struggling with depression herself. She vented out her frustration by hitting me whenever I made the smallest mistake. She would make me stand in one corner after beating me. Sometimes she would send me to school when I was sick because she did not want to deal with me. The rest of my family knew what she was dong to me but they chose to ignore this. We would just pretend that everything was fine. When I was around 12 my cousin sexually abused me. I did not tell anyone this because I thought that no one would believe me or they would just ignore this too. I never had any friends in school or anyone else that I could rely on. I have been alone all my life. I don't even know how to relate to people anymore. I have tried to make friends several times and failed.
@lonelyGirl256
I'm hearing that you had to deal with much abuse and trauma growing up by the people who were supposed to protect you. No one helped you when you needed it the most. That's a lot for one person let alone a child to handle. What happened to you is horrible. It's not your fault. You didn't do anything to deserve being emotionally, physically, and sexually abused. What you went through matters. You matter and your feelings are valid. I imagine that the isolation and depression that you have/are currently experiencing is compounding the effects of the trauma you endured. You deserve supportive people in your life.
Thank you for reaching out. It was a courageous step to take and you deserve to feel proud of yourself for that. I'm going to link a few YouTube videos made by a licensed therapist that talks about abuse. She also reccomends the yelllow Courage to Heal Workbook for working through child sexual abuse.
Working through child sexual abuse: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AWPYJR7p-50
Recovering from sexual abuse: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JAMwyyybA7I
Emotional abuse: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A5fw-IT_phU&list=PL_loxoCVsWqzBWn4D3fRaj0O05BkQ50Uf&index=2
What is physical abuse?: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-FqHPadjW1w&list=PL_loxoCVsWqzBWn4D3fRaj0O05BkQ50Uf&index=25
How to deal with depression: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qfrpO9PsGC0
She has many more videos on her channel.
P.S. Feel free to reach out to a listener or therapist on here to get more support. I'm sending you lots of love and kindness. 