Never been so alone.
I need to vent.
When feeling low I become desperate in need of love. I think is because all my life my parents were extremly strict on me so I search for love elsewhere. I try to do so with my boyfriend but with moderation. I know is not his fault I had so many struggles. However my boyfriend is the least interested person in terms of emotional stuff. I'm not talking flowers and chocolates and cliche. I'm talking a simple call (we're long distance) or once in a while just say how he feels. The only thing we do is play games and since we're focoused on the task we barely talk. Now lack of communtion is the WORST in long distance. It just makes me feel extremly lonely.
He does pay attention to my mental health which is amazing. But... when I feel like shit and ask him to engange in a more positive and happy subject he can't. He just hates emotional. At this point I have no what idea what to do.
I never so miserable and alone. I keep seeking and searching for some sort of compassion or love from someone. At this point self love isn't enough because any human needs some sort of love in their life.
I have no will to study, I can't focous while reading, I can't look in the mirror.... Suicidal thoughts came back and I'm trying so hard to feel better but I just can't.
@Booklover95 Hey. I'm really glad you reached out on here. You're not alone and I think you'll find other people who may be in similar situations. It's frustrating that your boyfriend doesn't support you when you're feeling bad. A lot of people seem to be afraid of things that they can't understand. I feel like that is especially true with mental health. Reaching out for support is a great first step and it was brave of you to post.
You mentioned thoughts of suicide. Please keep fighting and staying strong. If you get to the point where you can't fight against the thoughts, please seek get help as soon as possible. Don't hesitate to reach out to me or other listeners on this site if you need help brainstorming crisis resources or other coping strategies.
Stay strong. 
@Kate
"A lot of people seem to be afraid of things that they can't understand. I feel like that is especially true with mental health. " - THIS!! So accurate!
Thank you for your sweet words. I'm struggling alot daily but at least I still have my therapist , have university (to keep me distracted) and have 7cups. So it could be worst I suppose.
p.s- I never asked but your hair looks pink in your picture, looks seriously adorable. Is it really pink? Kinda random I know haha
@Booklover95 hahah yes! It is pink. It changes frequently.
But I am alone.