New Momma
I’m a new momma. I’ve never wanted to live so badly now that my fiancé and I have welcomed our first son together. But postpartum is cruel. I was diagnosed with a chronic illness almost a year before I got pregnant with my son and my body has simply deteriorated since then. My mental health has as well. It’s been 3 months since I gave birth and not a single family member or friend has come to see us. It’s been hard. I wasn’t able to breastfeed and have to supplement with formula. On top of that, my fiancé thinks I’m falling out of love with him because I’ve been withdrawn and distant. I feel like a failure. I feel hopeless.
Three months is still so early. It takes time to recover even without chronic illness as well. Try not to feel bad about needing to supplement feeds. Your son loves you no matter how he's fed and you're not a failure for feeding him formula. You're giving him what he needs in the best way you can. You're not getting it wrong. Also, have you tried to talk to your fiancee about how you're feeling? Perhaps he doesn't understand that you feel this way about everything rather than specifically about him. If there's any way you could meet up with another new mum, you might feel better in knowing that you're not alone in these areas. It's still hard, but you're not alone.
