New and in need of advice.

Hi, thank you for tell us your experience! Depression is a very serious thing, so if you want to come out from it you should talk with a terapist. You have to be patient, but if you work on yourself, you will feel better. Wish you a lot of happiness, be kind on yourself and take care of you! Good luck ❤

I would suggest finding something that pays good and doesn’t require over 40 hours a week. This way you can attend and pay for school later in life if something does strike your interest. I just spoke to a lady that made a career change at 46 years of age. My mother finished college just a few years ago just because she wanted a degree (she already had a good job).

There is plenty of time to figure out your calling. In the mean time, do well for yourself, your health, and your finances. You aren’t stuck with your first choice.

If you are depressed, then that in itself makes it hard to feel any passion or interest. Do what it takes so that you can feel some simple joy in life again. Rest, take care of your body, give it the basic things humans need. Get counselling to help with unhappy relationships, that sort of thing.

For many people their right calling doesn’t come in a neat package. It’s something that has to be pieced together from many ‘right’ pieces, like a jigsaw, that fit together into the right life. Also, our interests change over time, what is right at one time may not be right at another. So maybe don’t ask ‘what is right for my life’ but ‘what is right for now’? Some use the metaphor of an animal tracker: one day the tracks lead here, the next day they lead somewhere else. But at any given moment, you can still be where you are supposed to be.

In times of change, we often look to our old ideas of what our role in life should be, but they don’t work anymore. We may have outgrown them. During these periods it’s normal to want stability. But you may first have to be in a phase of exploring new facets of skill and new interest and choosing to leave behind what wasn’t working anymore. It’s tempting to believe you can figure this out with your mind. But yeah, you often have to try things out and leave space to be surprised. For example, you go to a dance class. This doesn’t mean you’ll discover a passion for dance, but you could meet someone and have a conversation that gives you ideas you didn’t consider before. The point is, when you can’t imagine something that works, just try new things: read a new genre of book, see a foreign movie, take a walk to a place you don’t usually go. Or just research anything you are interested but didn’t let yourself pursue before because it wasn’t ‘useful’. First, new situations will stimulate your mind and senses to notice things you haven’t before. With that often comes a sense of possibility. Second, it will train you to notice whenever things spark your interest and feel right. Don’t assume you know what the outcome will be. When you can no longer imagine something that works, that’s often when you need life to surprise you with things you can’t imagine. Also, experiencing things is different than imagining them. I know that sounds like a cliche, but it is true. Especially when we are depressed, often whatever we can imagine will have this hopeless grey ‘overlay’ on it. But Experience can still surprise you.

Is there an in-between job you can do while you are exploring new possibilities? Being able to pay bills (without feeling like you are stuck in the job forever) might free up your worries enough so you can let yourself explore. Don’t feel like you have to pick a right ‘forever’ path before you do anything. That puts a lot of pressure or yourself and probably makes you feel trapped or stuck.

Best of luck to you.

I'm sorry ur going through that u should find someone u trust to talk to or there are other resources u can use like a therapist or even on here u can find someone don't give up there is help all around