New here

Hi, I got this app because i really don't know what else to do. I've been battling anxiety and depression for years. I'm 18 and in college, now from home with everything going on but i was already moving home because of how mad my depression has been. I recently was honest with my mom even though it killed me to hurt her. I scheduled for a new therapist for next month. But right now, i don't wanna be alive. I don't wanna exist anymore. I know that I'm young. And i know that my life is considered good and i have a lot ahead of me but it makes it worse when i feel this way when there is no reason. I have my mom and i am her life, a boyfriend who loves me very much and the best friends in the world. But still i want to not be alive. I used to self harm a long time ago and i want to so badly but that would make me lose my boyfriend and break a promise to best friend and completely destroy my mom. I simply just don't wanna be here. Don't wanna be alive and i don't wanna hurt the people i named which is why i haven't done anything yet. I don't know what to do.